BLUMENKOHL

After seeing this movie and listening to the score a couple of times, I will guarantee that this score is one of those that people will look back on and wonder why they loved it so much in 2015.
Musically, there is nothing being said here that hasn't been said before. It's effectively Michael Giacchino meets Danny Elfman (that general cartoony sound) and roped together with Lalo Schifrin, but with some monster orchestrations that Giacchino and Elfman have never been able to attain.
Now all that said, the orchestrators and recording engineers and mixers have absolutely kicked ass. Serious ass. This may be one of the best recorded soundtracks ever. I haven't enjoyed an orchestral recording this much since Bruce Botnick more or less retired.
Music: 6/10
Recording: 100/10

I dig it. You should go after your haters. Aggressively.

Not to be a pessimistic ass hole.
But I don't see John making it to the new films.

Who?

I'll have a separate rules for good sex, but for now: 
 
Solo Sex: 3.0/10
Duo Sex: 9.5/10
Trio Sex: 9.0/10
Quartet Sex: 6.0/10
Quintet Sex: 5.5/10
Sextet Sex: 5.0/10
...
120-Person ("Full Symphony") + 200-person "Full Choir" Sex: 9.6/10
 

I prefer solo shower sex. 

Aww. Just the one? 🥺

Good rules.  There's so many of them, I won't remember them all, but that's clearly not the point.
 
Rule 26 may be the most important.  Perhaps it should be in bold.
 
because... well, these are really suggestions instead of rules.  But the best thing is you're reminding us to savor instead of just consume.  So I'm happy to say I made some time to listen last evening after reading the rules through twice.
 
Trouble is, I do get sleepy sometimes when I listen in my comfortable chair.  And I don't do caffeine in the evening.

No shower sex?
 
Ok, I agree.

Listen to good music again and again. Truly good music will only get better with repeated listens.  Don't listen to music all the time, you'll go numb.  Don't listen to good music while doing other things. Listen to it when you can really listen to it.  Don't listen to dark music on sunny days and don't listen to cheery music on rainy days. Heighten the experience by matching music to the weather. It'll take you to another level.  Listen to pre-17th century music from time to time, there's something magical there.  Fuhget about sound quality, sometimes the best recordings really are the older recordings with the terrible fidelity.  The rainier the weather, the older the music you need to listen to.  Save the pop, electronic, and new-fangled stuff for when you want to listen to music and do other stuff (work, exercise, etc.)  "Turn-down" music at home is awesome before bed. Find something relaxing, set a low volume, turn off the screens and enjoy.  For the ultimate listening experience: wait till night, preferably a little before you get tired. Grab your best headphones, turn out the lights, close your eyes, lie down and listen to one album of your choice. No rewind, no fast forward, just listen.  A glass of red wine before hand heightens the experience.  Don't get too analytical listening to the music. You'll ruin music for yourself.  Quietly humming along to music (especially the basses/lower end instruments) heightens your "feel" for the music.  Never listen to music before having a serious listening session. Let the silence drive you mad with anticipation. Nothing tastes as good as water after being in the desert, and no music sounds as good as what you listen to after abstaining.  Decently performed live music  > amazingly performed recording.  Angry music will make you angry, dark music will make you dark, and optimistic music will make you optimistic.  Own a musical instrument of some kind, and fiddle around with it from time to time.  Older music is better for the soul: there is an optimism, even in its darkest moments, that propels you in your life. Newer music is too real for its own good.  Take your streaming playlists, shuffle mode, etc. and flush them down the internet toilet.  Make a deliberate choice about what music you listen to and why, however broad or specific your goal, don't let some playlist make that choice for you.  Don't carry around more than a dozen albums.  One album listened to intensely for a week is better than 12 albums hopping from album to album and with half your attention.  If you really need to work and listen to music, loop a single track until you're done. That way you don't lose the zone.  Do not let music become your proxy for feeling emotions. Real experiences > music.  Good speakers will always beat the best headphones. Music hits different when it’s propagating through the room.  There’s music you can listen to with other people, and there’s music that will deflate and go flaccid when someone else is in the room with you.  Don’t be a computer with the rules, bend and break to your heart’s content but if you take nothing else away: temper your musical consumption and you will enjoy the fewer moments of deliberate music listening a lot more.  If you want to heighten your experience of music, a cup of coffee or strong tea about 15 minutes before will do the trick.  Let the music flow, don’t keep pressing the rewind button on your favorite part…trust me on this.  While listening to something you’ve listened to a million times, scan the spectrum. Pay attention to just the low end. Or the mids. Or the highs. See if you hear something you never noticed before.  Music + sex only work if you can keep physical rhythm. But even so, eventually the music and the rhythm you want will be mismatched. Like shower sex, best to avoid it. More glamorous than it sounds. 

Listen to good music again and again. Truly good music will only get better with repeated listens.  Don't listen to music all the time, you'll go numb.  Don't listen to good music while doing other things. Listen to it when you can really listen to it.  Don't listen to dark music on sunny days and don't listen to cheery music on rainy days. Heighten the experience by matching music to the weather. It'll take you to another level.  Listen to pre-17th century music from time to time, there's something magical there.  Fuhget about sound quality, sometimes the best recordings really are the older recordings with the terrible fidelity.  The rainier the weather, the older the music you need to listen to.  Save the pop, electronic, and new-fangled stuff for when you want to listen to music and do other stuff (work, exercise, etc.)  "Turn-down" music at home is awesome before bed. Find something relaxing, set a low volume, turn off the screens and enjoy.  For the ultimate listening experience: wait till night, preferably a little before you get tired. Grab your best headphones, turn out the lights, close your eyes, lie down and listen to one album of your choice. No rewind, no fast forward, just listen.  A glass of red wine before hand heightens the experience.  Don't get too analytical listening to the music. You'll ruin music for yourself.  Quietly humming along to music (especially the basses/lower end instruments) heightens your "feel" for the music.  Never listen to music before having a serious listening session. Let the silence drive you mad with anticipation. Nothing tastes as good as water after being in the desert, and no music sounds as good as what you listen to after abstaining.  Decently performed live music  > amazingly performed recording.  Angry music will make you angry, dark music will make you dark, and optimistic music will make you optimistic.  Own a musical instrument of some kind, and fiddle around with it from time to time.  Older music is better for the soul: there is an optimism, even in its darkest moments, that propels you in your life. Newer music is too real for its own good.  Take your streaming playlists, shuffle mode, etc. and flush them down the internet toilet.  Make a deliberate choice about what music you listen to and why, however broad or specific your goal, don't let some playlist make that choice for you.  Don't carry around more than a dozen albums.  One album listened to intensely for a week is better than 12 albums hopping from album to album and with half your attention.  If you really need to work and listen to music, loop a single track until you're done. That way you don't lose the zone.  Do not let music become your proxy for feeling emotions. Real experiences > music.  Good speakers will always beat the best headphones. Music hits different when it’s propagating through the room.  There’s music you can listen to with other people, and there’s music that will deflate and go flaccid when someone else is in the room with you.  Don’t be a computer with the rules, bend and break to your heart’s content but if you take nothing else away: temper your musical consumption and you will enjoy the fewer moments of deliberate music listening a lot more.  If you want to heighten your experience of music, a cup of coffee or strong tea about 15 minutes before will do the trick.  Let the music flow, don’t keep pressing the rewind button on your favorite part…trust me on this.  While listening to something you’ve listened to a million times, scan the spectrum. Pay attention to just the low end. Or the mids. Or the highs. See if you hear something you never noticed before.  Music + sex only work if you can keep physical rhythm. But even so, eventually the music and the rhythm you want will be mismatched. Like shower sex, best to avoid it. More glamorous than it sounds. 

Rule 27 essentially describes any "favorite short musical moments" posts I've ever made here.

HZ sucks. Pirates is satan's music!!11

It's not so much the lack of existing themes that lets this score down. It's the lack of carrying, or even noticing, the dramatic contours of this (albeit flatly directed and edited) show. From planetary reveals, ship take-offs and landings, dramatic reveals, dialogue and scene transitions, this score has it covered... as in, just covered over in simplistic mood music (or, cut to mood music suddently, as in the Ep 2 Vader reveal). Where Williams, or Ludwig Gorransson, would trade in flourishes, instrumental variety, contrasts in tone, and real melodic strength, this score barely manages the drama on-screen.
 
But the lack of even tonally nodding to the legacy themes is a deficit (as Giacchino, Powell and Gorransson have all done, quite aside from quoting them outright). This is all the more disappointing because the new material here is not up to the job.

What do you mean? You don’t think it’s strange that they waited so abnormally long to announce her? (They even announced the Andor composer before her, and that show comes out even later.) You don’t think it’s strange that her Obi-Wan theme was replaced at the last minute with a theme by John Williams? You don’t think it’s strange that she wasn’t allowed to adapt JW’s theme in her score, and instead one of his decades-long collaborators Bill Ross was hired? You don’t think it’s strange that Bill Ross apparently ended up doing way more than simply integrating JW’s theme, to the point that he even scored big sequences like the Obi-Wan vs. Vader duel? You don’t think it’s strange that Ross gets a big listing all to himself in the credits, right after Holt’s name, rather than appearing later with the additional music composers? You don’t think it’s strange that this is a show full of legacy characters set between the PT and OT, and yet not a single JW legacy theme has shown up yet?
 
Come on, there are way too many things out of the ordinary here. Frankly I find it ridiculous that you could think the desire to make sense of all this, is rooted in sexism. We would be just as curious (and upset at the problems with this score) if this were a male composer.

This show has heart, but my god the technical production is terrible. 
 
The action sequences have all the energy of an asthmatic snail crawling on a salt flat. 

This show has heart, but my god the technical production is terrible. 
 
The action sequences have all the energy of an asthmatic snail crawling on a salt flat. 

Great theme! 

Great theme! 

Shinzon's Theme in "A New Ending" is just chef's kiss perfection. I think John Williams is the last man standing who can write sweeping orchestra in that style. 
 
I used to be weirded out by the slow tempo of the TMP march in that track. Now the normal one feels too fast. Must be my old creaky bones! The old dying composer is slowing it down so he can savor his creation for an extra few seconds, one last time. 
 
If only we could do that with real time! 

I dig it. You should go after your haters. Aggressively.

When King Mark says this, that’s your sign of the end times. 

I was going to say this

Square Escape is a really good fusion of Zimmer action music and Bond. 
 
I’ve never heard brass used quite the way you hear 35 seconds in. Surely there is some digital wizardry at work there? The brass has both bite, rapidity, and a softness that is unreal and satisfying!

It’s on another plane from the usual choppy shit. 
 

The first movie of each trilogy...
 
🥰