I cherish going to Dismember the Alamo every year for many reasons, one being that I sometimes question if my horror fanaticism has lead me to a point where I've seen every worthwhile horror movie ever made. I know that is truly unlikely to happen for a very, very long time, but it's splendid to get that confirmation via a party where you gather around with other enthusiasts and watch this stuff together for an entire day, with only 15-minute intermissions in-between each movie as your means of necessary rest.
Spasms (1983) was the opener. Probably the least interessssssting of the batch, especially as it wasss ssssuch a ssssslow sssstarter. Peter Fonda's presence in this thing was surreal. The snake was pretty gnarly (see my current avatar!), there was one genuinely fantastic attack sequence that's worth preserving, and the Tangerine Dream music was welcome. I had heard of this one before, hadn't seen it until tonight and while I probably wasn't missing much on the whole, I'm glad I got a good helping of snake action.
Centipede Horror (1982) was next. I was confident that surely I will have at least heard of all these movies presented tonight. The hosts of this program informed us they were going for a consistent creepy-crawly theme, right? All movies revolving around snakes or bugs in some way? Yeah, they'll probably show The Fly (original or remake), or Mosquito, or Night of the Creeps, or.....what the hell is Centipede Horror!? Unlike the last one, this is slow to start, but EARNS it. It pays off, folks. Once this movie decides it's done dawdling, it goes absolutely goddang bonkers, hits the gas pedal, goes full speed ahead, and does not stop until it has found every way to baffle and disgust you in equal measure.Absolutely going to be a future stream show one of these days, I simply must share this revolting madness! Girls vomiting up centipedes is the least strange thing to happen in this motion picture.
Next up was Squirm (1976), a film I've seen before when it was on Mst3k, so this was my chance to take a break and go outside for a walk. I came back here and there, as I do like this one and it's probably the only Mst3k-ed film I can think of that I'd easily watch without riffing. Also fun to see it uncut for the first time (the Mst3k-ed version cuts out a couple of the bloodier shots), when up until now I was accustomed to not seeing whatever became of the mother!
Next was The Bite (1989), first released as "Curse II: The Bite" so it could be advertised as a sequel to a movie called Curse despite having no plot or thematic connection. It's basically another one of those transformation movies I've seen dozens of times and have gotten burned out on since they're always structurally the same. They're usually werewolf movies, centered around a dude that gets bitten by something, will slowly turn into whatever it is they were bitten by all while their helpless girlfriend/wife can only plead and declare their undying love "I just wanna help you" yadda yadda and guy's always all vague and ominous and all "it's inside me, get away from me, or it'll get you too" and not bothering to elaborate and thus making him just look hysterical. I think I'm just tired of that particular story for awhile in horror. BUT, there was plenty here to keep my attention. One, the offending biter in question was a snake, so this is in fact a....were-snake outing. So, our lead dude turns into a snake?...well, more like his bitten arm slowly transforms into a snake. Quite a wacky variation that sure as heck earned my attention (and the audience's laughter), not to mention the bizarre colorful cast of supporting characters that have no reason to be as compelling as they are given that most of them are maimed about as quickly as they're introduced (intensely unhinged car mechanic, traveling salesman that starts off the obnoxious sleaze you assume will be killed off only for him to somehow end up as the film's hero by the climax, deeply religious man with Swedish accents so ridiculous Wally Walrus would be proud). And, uh....I was kind of sort of perhaps ended up infatuated and smitten with the lead madame of this picture. She was a darling and I'll probably go on to look up her filmography and commit her name to memory. I hope she isn't on FB much, and I'd rather the lady not come across this. :S
...oh no, she's been in several other horror movies...I'm going to end up watching all of them, aren't I?
Uh, anyway, e'yup, lovely day! Great day! Fun movies!...and uh, perty lady. Jill Shoelen?...how do I pronounce that last name?..Shoe-len? Sho-eh-len?...not that I need to know, because, yeah, I have no reason to obtain that information, so I will not seek clarification. Absolutely not. Good day and goodnight to all of you! This is such a great night to NOT look at pictures of a pretty actress and NOT look up her other movies, isn't it? What a glorious night to avoid that aforementioned perverted activity!
Oh, and uh, the last movie was Slither, but I walked out. Both because I was really tired (it's a long drive and wanted to be as awake as I could for the trip home) and because I know cats are among this movie's bodycount, which earns a 'nope, goodbye' from me. I liked what I heard of Tyler Bates' score though. He's better off with horror than he is with superheroes.