Jurassic Shark 12,054 Posted April 18, 2018 Share Posted April 18, 2018 I predict that Kylo Ren will start wearing his grandfather's helmet, after he destroyed his own in TLJ, and the title will be Star Wars: Darth Vader Reincarnated. Oh, and Rey is the daughter of Leia and Lando Calrissian. Ricard 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post Nick1Ø66 4,710 Posted April 18, 2018 Popular Post Share Posted April 18, 2018 Funny, I was just making eggs, and as I put down the spatula, I stared out the kitchen window, felt the breeze in my hair, the sun on my face, looked at the birds, listened to their springsong, and thought to myself, "what JWFan really needs right now is a another Star Wars thread." Thank you. No, really, thank YOU. bollemanneke, John, Bayesian and 1 other 1 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post John 2,032 Posted April 18, 2018 Popular Post Share Posted April 18, 2018 JJ will open the film with Rey holding the lightsaber out to Luke and simply pretend TLJ didn't happen. Bayesian, Jurassic Shark, Nick1Ø66 and 2 others 1 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jurassic Shark 12,054 Posted April 18, 2018 Author Share Posted April 18, 2018 18 minutes ago, Nick1066 said: Funny, I was just making eggs, and as I put down the spatula, I stared out the kitchen window, felt the breeze in my hair, the sun on my face, looked at the birds, listened to their Spring song, and thought to myself, "what JWFan really needs right now is a another Star Wars thread." Thank you. No, really, thank YOU. And still you comment here. You're welcome. Ricard 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dtw42 61 Posted April 18, 2018 Share Posted April 18, 2018 Rey and Kylo will both be killed by a random event ten minutes into the movie and the remainder of the running time will consist of Artoo and Threepio beeping and bickering at each other. The main theme will therefore segue into a Basket-Game-style light humour action piece, followed by the most tear-jerking, yearning loss cue in decades. After that, JW will resort to electronic plinky-plonk and/or BRAAAM just out of spite. The end credits will feature the two droids back in the desert, playing a Yubnub-esque primitive percussion piece on the bleached skulls of all the major characters from the preceding movies in counterpoint to the force-ghost of Yoda singing "Seagulls Stop It Now". Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Not Mr. Big 4,639 Posted April 18, 2018 Share Posted April 18, 2018 The Star War finally comes to an end bollemanneke 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chen G. 3,949 Posted April 18, 2018 Share Posted April 18, 2018 For my money, Rey comes to study some of the Jedi texts and learns that the struggle with the Dark Side is, by definition, infinite. Only by the end of the film, in a climactic duel with Kylo, does she come to realize and, more importantly, accept that the only way to create true balance is to cut off the Galaxy from The Force, doing away with both the light and The Dark Side, much to Ren's dismay. A place for a great callback, too: "it is time to let old things die." It probably won't be anywhere near what Abrams will actually come up with, but its what he should do. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bollemanneke 3,342 Posted April 18, 2018 Share Posted April 18, 2018 1 hour ago, John said: JJ will open the film with Rey holding the lightsaber out to Luke and simply pretend TLJ didn't happen. Now THAT would be good! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jurassic Shark 12,054 Posted April 18, 2018 Author Share Posted April 18, 2018 Nice try, Chen. There's a reason it's called Star Wars, and not Star War. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Naïve Old Fart 9,513 Posted April 18, 2018 Share Posted April 18, 2018 I predict that it with end with: DOLBY SDDS DTS in selected theaters Jurassic Shark 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kasey Kockroach 2,344 Posted April 18, 2018 Share Posted April 18, 2018 Spoiler A mosasaurus eats Kylo Ren. dtw42 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jurassic Shark 12,054 Posted April 18, 2018 Author Share Posted April 18, 2018 4 minutes ago, Richard said: I predict that it with end with: DOLBY SDDS DTS in selected theaters ...and "soundtrack available on LP and cassette". Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
crocodile 8,000 Posted April 18, 2018 Share Posted April 18, 2018 2 hours ago, John said: JJ will open the film with Rey holding the lightsaber out to Luke and simply pretend TLJ didn't happen. It was all Finn's dream. He'll wake up yet again. Karol Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kasey Kockroach 2,344 Posted April 18, 2018 Share Posted April 18, 2018 You blithering boob! Finn doesn't have dreams! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Naïve Old Fart 9,513 Posted April 18, 2018 Share Posted April 18, 2018 2 minutes ago, crocodile said: It was all Finn's dream. He'll wake up yet again. Karol ...seeing Rose taking a shower Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
crocodile 8,000 Posted April 18, 2018 Share Posted April 18, 2018 Star Wars Episode IX: The Star War Karol Not Mr. Big and Jurassic Shark 1 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Illustrious Jerry 3,356 Posted April 18, 2018 Share Posted April 18, 2018 Back to the serious- The Resistance will gather some more forces overtime, remaining extremely low key. Most will act as spies and undercover guys that heckle the First Order, who is in tumult thanks to the self-centered Kylo Ren who can't make any good decisions. The spies are revealed and killed by Ren. Then the Resistance comes out and battles the entire F.O, with Rey using her new skills to wipe out most of them. With the armies distracted, she then confronts Kylo Ren, where the two conflict like after Snoke's death. From there the balance is restored by Kylo Ren controlling the dark and Rey controlling the light, both equally. The Force is balanced. BOOM! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Naïve Old Fart 9,513 Posted April 18, 2018 Share Posted April 18, 2018 No, let's stay with the silly: STAR WARS EPISODE IX: THE RETURN OF HAN SOLO (ALTHOUGH FUCK KNOWS HOW THEY'RE GOING TO DO IT) Jurassic Shark 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kasey Kockroach 2,344 Posted April 18, 2018 Share Posted April 18, 2018 If you're being serious when regarding Star Wars, you've already lost. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jurassic Shark 12,054 Posted April 18, 2018 Author Share Posted April 18, 2018 4 minutes ago, Richard said: No, let's stay with the silly: STAR WARS EPISODE IX: THE RETURN OF HAN SOLO (ALTHOUGH FUCK KNOWS HOW THEY'RE GOING TO DO IT) Cloning? Or maybe it turns out that Han has an identical twin brother? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post The Illustrious Jerry 3,356 Posted April 18, 2018 Popular Post Share Posted April 18, 2018 2 minutes ago, kaseykockroach said: If you're being serious when regarding Star Wars, you've already lost. Kasey Kockroach, dtw42 and Jurassic Shark 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Balahkay 627 Posted April 18, 2018 Share Posted April 18, 2018 No doubt at least one main character will die (aside from Leia who will probably die between films). My guess is Kylo for sure. Disney wouldn't have the guts to kill off Rey. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Naïve Old Fart 9,513 Posted April 18, 2018 Share Posted April 18, 2018 I like @The Illustrious Jerry's approach. There can be a new character to act as balance. Let's call him Cygnus. I even know a song about him Nick1Ø66 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pellaeon 593 Posted April 18, 2018 Share Posted April 18, 2018 Google "the problem with fan theories." YOU PEOPLE ARE the problem!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Naïve Old Fart 9,513 Posted April 18, 2018 Share Posted April 18, 2018 1 minute ago, someonefun124 said: No doubt at least one main character will die (aside from Leia who will probably die between films). My guess is Kylo for sure. Disney wouldn't have the guts to kill off Rey. Rey will redeem Kylo, but it will cost her her life. The Illustrious Jerry 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kasey Kockroach 2,344 Posted April 18, 2018 Share Posted April 18, 2018 Did TFA or TLJ's soundtracks have a cue titled "A Rey of Hope", or am I just confusing wishful thinking with reality? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jurassic Shark 12,054 Posted April 18, 2018 Author Share Posted April 18, 2018 I predict that the Fathier boy with the resistance symphaties will play a part in Ep. IX, otherwise the whole Fathiers subplot would have been dropped. Yay, a new "Anakin kid"... 1977 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Illustrious Jerry 3,356 Posted April 18, 2018 Share Posted April 18, 2018 On 4/18/2018 at 1:02 PM, Richard said: Rey will redeem Kylo, but it will cost her her life. An admirable thought. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kasey Kockroach 2,344 Posted April 18, 2018 Share Posted April 18, 2018 There will be a new character named Sharkino Woman. She is part shark, part rhino, part woman, all attitude. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Naïve Old Fart 9,513 Posted April 18, 2018 Share Posted April 18, 2018 No, @The Illustrious Jerry, he's the god of balance. Know your Rush, dude! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Illustrious Jerry 3,356 Posted April 18, 2018 Share Posted April 18, 2018 1 minute ago, kaseykockroach said: There will be a new character named Sharkino Woman. She is part shark, part rhino, part woman, all attitude. And she will somehow also be Rey, just for you! 1 minute ago, Richard said: No, @The Illustrious Jerry, he's the god of balance. Know your Rush, dude! Just messing with ya! I know my birds though ! Kasey Kockroach 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kasey Kockroach 2,344 Posted April 18, 2018 Share Posted April 18, 2018 No, Sharkino Woman will be Rey's love interest. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Illustrious Jerry 3,356 Posted April 18, 2018 Share Posted April 18, 2018 And there will be a love dodecagon between them, Finn, Poe, Rose, Chewie, the porg, Kylo Ren, Hux, etc. etc. until the episode ends off with one big affair. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kasey Kockroach 2,344 Posted April 18, 2018 Share Posted April 18, 2018 Nah, the ship will be Sharkino Woman x Rey and everyone else dies because who cares. Music by Michael Giacchino. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Naïve Old Fart 9,513 Posted April 18, 2018 Share Posted April 18, 2018 3 minutes ago, The Illustrious Jerry said: And there will be a love dodecagon between them, Finn, Poe, Rose, Chewie, the porg, Kylo Ren, Hux, etc. etc. until the episode ends off with one big affair. Include Captain Phasma in that, and I'd buy that for a dollar! dtw42 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nick1Ø66 4,710 Posted April 18, 2018 Share Posted April 18, 2018 I'm not interested in any story that doesn't being with "Finn...Finn...wake up" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jurassic Shark 12,054 Posted April 18, 2018 Author Share Posted April 18, 2018 He wakes up, then it turns out it was only a dream that he woke up. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Corellian2019 386 Posted April 18, 2018 Share Posted April 18, 2018 Love triangle between Rose, Finn, and Rey. Calling it now! Heck, Williams might even compose a "lovers' quarrel" theme Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
John 2,032 Posted April 19, 2018 Share Posted April 19, 2018 SPOILERS: the following is a leaked description of the opening scene of Star Wars: Episode IX. Read at your own risk. Spoiler PAN DOWN from VAST STARFIELD to the oceanic planet of NABOO. INT. NABOO JUNGLE - DAWN An odd, frog-like creature is napping against a mossy boulder. A low rumbling awakens him from his slumber. He groggily stands up, mumbling to himself, and stretches his lanky limbs. JAR JAR: Oyi, what a cwazy dweam! Meesa shoulda laid off dose boom-shrooms befoh hitting de sack. Meesa nevah doin dat agang! The distant rumbling echoes throughout the jungle. JAR JAR squints his bulbous eyes as he spots TWO ROBED FIGURES sprinting through the undergrowth of the jungle. They are headed in his direction. JAR JAR: Ooey mooey! Who's dat? Out of the corner of his eye, JAR JAR spots a LARGE CLAM lying on the ground near his feet. Ignoring the approaching strangers and the steadily loudening rumble, he stoops down and retrieves the mollusk. JAR JAR: Ooo! Bwakefast! FADE TO BLACK. Kasey Kockroach 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
1977 1,743 Posted April 23, 2018 Share Posted April 23, 2018 On 18 April 2018 at 6:56 PM, Richard said: No, let's stay with the silly: STAR WARS EPISODE IX: THE RETURN OF HAN SOLO (ALTHOUGH FUCK KNOWS HOW THEY'RE GOING TO DO IT) Alden Ehrenreich in a bad wig? Jurassic Shark 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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