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Disney rebooting four 20th Century Fox films - including Home Alone

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49 minutes ago, Alex said:

They’re remaking Home Alone? Finally someone’s going to get it right!

 

I know! Hollywood's "soft heart" endings :sleep1: That little shit should've been tortured and killed by Lenny and Marv. Finally someone seeing it my way.

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This franchise is long overdue for a 'dark and gritty' reimagining for our modern sensibilities. The two robbers should be undercover ISIL terrorists, Kevin's parents divorced and living in squalor, his brothers alcoholics, his sister resorting to night shifts at the local brothel, the church carollers a syndicate of convicted paedophiles. The thrilling climax involves Kevin waterboarding the two terrorists while hooked up to a car battery. 

 

Director: Lars von Trier

Composer: Elliot Goldenthal (adapting a temp track comprised entirely of Alien 3 music)

 

Rated NC-17.

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Disney - where fresh ideas are suffocated by the creative committee. A remake of "Night at the Museum" and "Home Alone" is not as bad as a remake of "Ben Hur" and "Papillon", but as pointless. Trust me, nothing of worth will be added, the only possible new thing will be a lack of charm and good music.

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Kevin is left 'home alone'. The burglars utterly fail to break in, thanks to the sophistication of today's home security systems. They give up less than halfway through the film, and for the rest of it we watch a completely untroubled Kevin amuse himself with the endless modern-day entertainment options available. The family return, all *OMG WE CAN'T BELIEVE WE FORGOT YOU!* ... Kevin shrugs and says 'It was fine, really'. 

 

The End.         

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49 minutes ago, Nick Parker said:

I had no idea people cared enough about Home Alone to be so incensed about a reboot.

 

Wait until they hear that Disney wants to give the Planet of The Apes franchise the same treatment as Star Wars. Many, many, many more Ape movies! (The crowd cheers!)

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5 minutes ago, Alexcremers said:

 

Wait until they hear that Disney wants to to give the Planet of The Apes franchise the same treatment as Star Wars. Many, many, many more Ape movies! (The crowd cheers!)

 

"The first second Planet of the Apes reboot was fun and got me excited for the series again, but then the second one _totally_ screwed over the series! It was _not_ an Apes movie! Even if he _was_ digitally modelled, Charlton Heston's Taylor would _not_ accept and try to adapt to living in the Apes' society! They fucked with one of cinema's greatest and most iconic characters!"

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I thought the third movie of the Ape reboot was clearly the weakest of the bunch. I guess most people love the second one the best (declaring it sorta like the TESB of Ape movies: more complex, more this, more that). Of course, my favorite is the first one because it's the most intimate of the three.

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On 8/8/2019 at 10:26 AM, Disco Stu said:

Any fans of Teddy Castelluci's score for Home Alone 4?

Never saw that one; looked terrible!

 

I do have a soft spot for Home Alone 3 and Nick Glennie-Smith’s score, I will admit. 

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33 minutes ago, Disco Stu said:

I'm not sure I've seen a single person acknowledge even seeing either of the non-Culkin sequels before.  Even as a kid I could tell it was some generic store-brand bullshit.

 

'Either' implies you don't know about Home Alone 5.

 

Or at least, you wish you didn't.

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John Hughes wrote Home Alone 3 so it still has some merit. I can enjoy it for what it is, and it helps to have Olek Krupa as the main bad guy. 

2 minutes ago, Gistech said:

 

'Either' implies you don't know about Home Alone 5.

Which is the one that has French Stewart as Marv?

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Just now, Koray Savas said:

John Hughes wrote Home Alone 3 so it still has some merit. 

 

I didn't know this!

 

2 minutes ago, Gistech said:

 

'Either' implies you don't know about Home Alone 5.

 

Or at least, you wish you didn't.

 

I didn't know about this either!  Dear Lord, does Malcolm McDowell even have the word "no" in his vocabulary?

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On 8/7/2019 at 3:03 PM, bollemanneke said:

Same story, same characters, different actors?

 

That's a remake, not a reboot.

On 8/7/2019 at 2:54 PM, crumbs said:

What are the odds of Williams scoring the reboot?

 

What are the odds of Brian Tyler scoring it, using Williams' original cues but rearranging them to make them more epic?

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I still think of ScarJo as the sister from Home Alone 3. I imagine it’d still be vaguely watchable, it is John Hughes, I remember some one-liners. My main memories of it are the parrot and that bitchin remote control car which was basically that movie’s version of the Talkboy, in that it doubles as a toy commercial. Never got that particular one but did go through a minor phase destroying RC cars after that movie so I guess mission accomplished.

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50 minutes ago, Koray Savas said:

Which is the one that has French Stewart as Marv?

 

That’s Home Alone 4. Never saw it but Red Letter Media watched/roasted it with Macaulay Culkin.

 

 

Weird that Stewart plays Marv but dresses like Harry.

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5 hours ago, Gistech said:

 

Ooh, great idea! Remake it now, people say the new one is trash and the original is a masterpiece!

 

I'll just call them both trash.

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