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Movies you did see, but wish you hadn't


Sweeping Strings

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Gothika - I've flushed scarier things than this Halle Berry *horror*. Robert Zemeckis and Joel Silver are amongst the producers, but on this evidence they just did the on-set catering or something. 

 

A Million Ways To Die In The West - normally I have a pretty good time with Seth McFarlane's stuff. Not so with this deeply unamusing comedy Western.     

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Too many to remember, although they were poor enough to not leave any lasting memory. 

 

This is one of the reasons why I no longer feel the need to see everything or immerse myself in cinema. When the awards season rolls around, I don’t care that I haven’t seen a majority of the films nominated or that I miss a huge blockbuster during the summer.

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  • 2 weeks later...

Spielberg's Lincoln. It was so utterly boring. And I usually like Spielberg's "serious" movies of this century, like Munich, The Post and even War Horse. Day-Lewis was great though, and I really like Williams' score, one of his best of this decade.

 

Also, my need to see how Williams' music works in the context of the movie was the only reason why I have watched The BFG, since the whole thing looked very... weird. Anyway, I thought the movie was very forgettable and dull, so much so that I think that even if I was a kid I would have thought this was tedious.

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18 minutes ago, Edmilson said:

Spielberg's Lincoln. It was so utterly boring. And I usually like Spielberg's "serious" movies of this century, like Munich, The Post and even War Horse. Day-Lewis was great though, and I really like Williams' score, one of his best of this decade.

 

Also, my need to see how Williams' music works in the context of the movie was the only reason why I have watched The BFG, since the whole thing looked very... weird. Anyway, I thought the movie was very forgettable and dull, so much so that I think that even if I was a kid I would have thought this was tedious.

 

Ah another newbie who's soul is already dead!

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:(

 

Sorry, didn't know many people here loved these two movies.

 

Coincidentally, just saw the commercial and The BFG will air today in the Sunday afternoon movie session on Rede Globo (Brazil's biggest and most watched TV channel). I would have give it a watch... But movies on broadcast TV here are exhibited dubbed in Portuguese, and I pretty much only watch movies in its original idiom with subtitles.

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On 9/4/2019 at 3:57 PM, mstrox said:

I’ve seen a ton of movies that met the “meh” standard, and some of you have listed some of them.  Very few movies would I consider a complete waste of time, though.  Here are a select few 

 

 

I’m baffled that I’ve found finally found another human being that’s even heard of Terror Toons, let alone seen it. It was one of those flicks I’d come across on the shelf all the time at Blockbuster when having my routine browsing through the horror section. The cover and title stuck to mind long before I was ever foolish enough to succumb to the temptation to sit through it. 

“Terror Toons” is a fun cool-sounding title that I’d love to see attached to a watchable movie. 

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4 hours ago, Kasey Kockroach said:

 

I’m baffled that I’ve found finally found another human being that’s even heard of Terror Toons, let alone seen it. It was one of those flicks I’d come across on the shelf all the time at Blockbuster when having my routine browsing through the horror section. The cover and title stuck to mind long before I was ever foolish enough to succumb to the temptation to sit through it. 

“Terror Toons” is a fun cool-sounding title that I’d love to see attached to a watchable movie. 

 

As a horror fan, and high school best friend of a Troma fan in the tail-end of the VHS days, I really saw some shit. It was my personal Vietnam.

 

i can’t even remember what I hated so much about TerrorToons anymore, but you’re right - the title and even the synopsis hold promise, and it didn’t live up to a lick of it

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4 hours ago, Disco Stu said:

:whistle:

 

image.png

 

Here's my Senor Spielbergo rankings from Flickchart - obviously a handfulI haven't seen, and please forgive my "dumb takes" - I've only seen a few of them more than once, and many of them (including Jaws, Close Encounters, etc) I haven't seen in over 15 years, so I may have a different appreciation if I ever see them again.

 

E.T.: The Extra-Terrestrial

Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom

Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade

Jurassic Park

Raiders of the Lost Ark

Saving Private Ryan

A.I.: Artificial Intelligence

Schindler's List

Hook

Close Encounters of the Third Kind

War Horse

The Lost World: Jurassic Park

Minority Report

War of the Worlds

Catch Me If You Can

The Terminal

Jaws

Ready Player One

Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull

1941

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Relative to the average fan, the historical dramas are definitely more important to me.  Although I certainly don't consider all of them to be at the same level of excellence.  War Horse, for instance, I honestly found to be a very mediocre film, certainly my least favorite of his historical dramas.  As much as he may worship the Fords and Wylers of yesteryear, I don't think he can pull off that old Hollywood tone like he clearly wanted to.  Great score though!

 

My ranking of the historical dramas:

1. Lincoln

2. Schindler's List

3. Bridge of Spies

4. Saving Private Ryan

5. Catch Me If You Can (more of a stretch for the category but I think it counts)

6. Munich

7. Empire of the Sun

8. The Post

9. Amistad

10. War Horse

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If Disco Stu puts Empire Of The Sun so low on his list then I probably won't like Lincoln so much. BTW, I never thought of it as a historical movie, but rather one about the celebration of childhood and the loss of innocence. The war is just a background.

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There's no movie I saw but then wished that I hadn't.  I see films all the time I end up not liking when they are over.  But so what?  At least now I know that the film is bad and why, and who knows, maybe along the way I saw a good performance or one cool shot or story idea or something.  Plus the bad films you see make the good films you see that much better.  The only thing you "lose" by seeing a film you don't end up liking is time, and fuck, I have enough free time in my life that if I spend 2 hours of it watching a movie that wasn't that great, I don't feel like I messed up anything.

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6 hours ago, mstrox said:

 

As a horror fan, and high school best friend of a Troma fan in the tail-end of the VHS days, I really saw some shit. It was my personal Vietnam.

 

i can’t even remember what I hated so much about TerrorToons anymore, but you’re right - the title and even the synopsis hold promise, and it didn’t live up to a lick of it

A great deal of my teen youth was spent keeping up with such sites as Badmovies.org (which sadly is pretty much dead nowadays) and bringing things like The Pit, Blue Demon, Over-Sexed Rugsuckers from Mars, Poultrygeist, Q: The Winged Serpent, Slugs, Sorority Babes in the Slimeball Bowl-a-Rama, Spookies or Tammy and the T-Rex into my life. They made me into the man I am today!

Image result for slugs 1988

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Mulholland Drive is too bizarre for the sake of being bizarre. No one will ever convince me that anything actually happens in that movie. It's just a bunch of weird shit and occasional naked chicks. Unfortunately, I didn't find the weird shit entertaining.

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1 minute ago, Gruesome Son of a Bitch said:

Mulholland Drive is too bizarre for the sake of being bizarre. No one will ever convince me that anything actually happens in that movie. It's just a bunch of weird shit and occasional naked chicks.

You've got no clue.

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6 hours ago, Gruesome Son of a Bitch said:

Yeah, I know. I just don't "get it", right?

I know, that's the reproach following every negative movie review on Amazon, but in this case the problem is trying to get it. I mean, did you get Twin Peaks?

6 hours ago, Gruesome Son of a Bitch said:

When it comes to Lynch, I think I'm only a fan of Twin Peaks seasons 1 and 2.

I'm looking forward to it. I've never seen the series, but I already know that I will get it for my birthday next week!

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The original Twin Peaks series and Blue Velvet (and The Elephant Man and The Straight Story) are Lynch at his most easily followed.

 

Fire Walk With Me, Twin Peaks The Return, and Wild at Heart are maybe in the middle.

 

Eraserhead, Lost Highway, Mulholland Drive, and Inland Empire are the hard ones.  And pretty much all of his short films.

 

(Dune doesn't exist)

 

I love most of them.  I don't really care about plot A->B->C, at least not in movies like that.  If you go into a David Lynch thing knowing that his main goal is to create an atmosphere and a feeling, and that that may take priority over plot, you'll be better served.

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My problem with Lynch, I've discovered after The Return and listening to him speak, is that he violates Hemingway's iceberg theory.  He constructs labyrinthine weirdness, but there's not necessarily anything below the surface holding it together.  I can enjoy weirdness for its own sake to a point but the extent to which he relies on it has become surprisingly offputting for me.

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4 hours ago, Dixon Hill said:

 He constructs labyrinthine weirdness, but there's not necessarily anything below the surface holding it together. 

 

Maybe you haven't found it yet.

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15 hours ago, Alexcremers said:

 

Maybe you haven't found it yet.

 

I don't think it's that simple.  Lynch has been quite open about the fact that he follows instinct and subconscious whether or not it serves a particular narrative.  That's his prerogative of course as it's mine to ultimately feel like that's masturbation.

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