The Music Joke thread

[veggiemusician 0]

To start you off...

Whats the differance between a soprano singer and a paranna fish?

Lipstick!

[Panthera 1]

Interesting

[Melange 448]

The Music Joke thread

Pirates of the Carribean?

[Composer_Fan 2]

LOL

[Greg1138 3]

The difference between a Viola and a Chainsaw?

.....vibrato.......

Or - what do you get if you fill a swimming pool full of rock drummers?

.....Vegetable Soup.....

[Omen II 1,300]

Here are some cruel but, let's face it, well-deserved jokes about viola players:

http://www.mit.edu/~jcb/jokes/viola.html

Damien

[#SnowyVernalSpringsEternal 12,383]

Yeah, those pesky viola players had it coming!

[Molaram 0]

What's the difference between a coffin and a cello case?

One has the corpse on the outside.

[Romão 2,473]

The Music Joke thread

Pirates of the Carribean?

That was the first thing that came up to my mind when I read the title of the thread.

[Luke Skywalker 2,383]

regarding that, Robthehand signature is a joke.

A bad one

[Mr. Breathmask 624]

I do hope he's saving those into a seperate file.

[hornist 1,261]

Tromboneplayers never die...

...they just slide away...

[Monticello 0]

What did the drummer get on his S.A.T. exam?...

...drool

[nightscape94 968]

Can someone explain the jokey attitude toward the viola and violists in general? A lot of the jokes about them are funny, but only if you think of the instrument as inferior, so maybe I'm missing something.

What's the deal?

Tim

[Many 0]

How do you know there's a singer at your door?

They can't find the key, and don't know when to come in.

Anthony

[Molaram 0]

What do you call 20 French horn players at the bottom of the ocean?

A good start.

[tony69 0]

well in past, violists were violinists who were not good enough to be on the 1st or 2nd violins. this happens in high schools too in the hardcore orchestras. they usually dont have enough violists, so some violinists are made to place viola. also, viola has in general been the least important of the strings. Violins usually the prima donna. Bass very important. Cello has recently gotten lots of melodic material (in romantic). But violas have very little solo material. (i can only think of parts of don quixote and harold in italy). most composers dont write for solo viola, incl. williams. Of course now its kind of changing. Usually violas have rhythmic or harmonic roles so not many people like to play violas.

And:

Why is a bassoon better than an oboe?

The bassoon burns longer.

[#SnowyVernalSpringsEternal 12,383]

Listening to an orchestra without violo's is like a broken pencil.

Pointless.

[robthehand 3]

I do hope he's saving those into a seperate file.

I am actually.

[Molaram 0]

What is the difference between trumpet players and US government savings bonds?

Over time, the bonds eventually mature and earn money.

[Romão 2,473]

What's the difference between Zimmer and cancer?

Cancer evolves.

[SturgisPodmore 0]

What's the difference between Zimmer and cancer?

I was going to say "Nothing."

~Sturgis

[robthehand 3]

The connection: no-one's found a cure. 8O

[Greg1138 3]

How many Operatic Sopranos does it take to change a light-bulb?

One - they just stand there with the bulb above their heads and the world revolves around them.....

[nicholas 1]

An alien arrives on earth in the early part of the 19th-century. The first human he meets is Schubert.

In a terrifying robotic voice the alien commands, "Take me to your Lieder."

[matmilne 0]

in an all male brass section what's the difference between the trumpeters and the other instrumentalists?

The other instramentalists can blow their own horn.

[matmilne 0]

what is the qualification gained in a viol conservetoire?

tone deafness