#SnowyVernalSpringsEternal 12,386 Posted January 4, 2013 Author Posted January 4, 2013 Ive been saying that for days!
Jay 46,243 Posted January 4, 2013 Posted January 4, 2013 Having sexual attraction doesn't prevent female friends from being female friends.This.
Quintus 6,495 Posted January 4, 2013 Posted January 4, 2013 If you washed up on a desert island with her you would fuck.what does that have to do with anything? if i were on desert island with a female friend for a longer time I'm sure that would happen too.The island is a metaphor, Alice. And if you could be that way inclined with your friend, then of course.
#SnowyVernalSpringsEternal 12,386 Posted January 4, 2013 Author Posted January 4, 2013 Imagining it now..... Goooood!
crocodile 9,724 Posted January 4, 2013 Posted January 4, 2013 If straight males cannot have female friends because of possible sexual attraction. Does this mean gay men cannot have male friends?Completely untrue. But that's a completely different dynamic as well.I always thought you are attracted to specific people, rather than all of them.Right?Karol
#SnowyVernalSpringsEternal 12,386 Posted January 4, 2013 Author Posted January 4, 2013 Why? If Blume is to be believed its attraction that kills any chance of true friendship.So a gay man cannot be just friends with another gay man.If Blume and Lee are to be believed....
crocodile 9,724 Posted January 4, 2013 Posted January 4, 2013 Well, they're wrong.That would imply Lee and Blume get an erection whenever they see anything resembling a female.Which... I hope... is not true.Karol
Quintus 6,495 Posted January 4, 2013 Posted January 4, 2013 If Blume is to be believed its attraction that kills any chance of true friendship.Hang on - aren't lovers often the best of friends?Maybe there's some major communication failures and misinterpretations going on in this thread...
#SnowyVernalSpringsEternal 12,386 Posted January 4, 2013 Author Posted January 4, 2013 Its what they themselves claim....Hang on - aren't lovers often the best of friends?Is that the case with you?
Quintus 6,495 Posted January 4, 2013 Posted January 4, 2013 Yes of course. I'm not trying to paint an everything's rosy picture here, because it really isn't, not all the time, and relationships take work and effort; but Claire is someone I can talk to about anything, laugh with and whom I respect for being smart as well as a caring mother and person. She's a paediatric nurse and it's instantly apparent when you meet her. She made me want to settle down where other women have tried and failed...
#SnowyVernalSpringsEternal 12,386 Posted January 4, 2013 Author Posted January 4, 2013 Does she have a single sister or cousin?
Quintus 6,495 Posted January 4, 2013 Posted January 4, 2013 She has only a brother, who looks like Big Show.
KK 3,313 Posted January 5, 2013 Posted January 5, 2013 I've refrained from posting here because I'm pretty much the last person here to go to for accurate support for my arguments in the matter (considering you can pull the whole inexperience card). But I think it's very possible to maintain platonic relationships between a straight male and female. Heck one of my closest friends is a female and yet she's not someone I'd have those feelings for.There may be feelings of attraction at one point, but that doesn't mean sexual contact is inevitable. Or at the very least, that's how I see it.
BLUMENKOHL 1,110 Posted January 5, 2013 Posted January 5, 2013 Heck one of my closest friends is a female and yet she's not someone I'd have those feelings for.You have never had naughty thoughts about her? Ever? EVER?Is she morbidly obese and smells of rotten cabbage?
Koray Savas 2,260 Posted January 5, 2013 Posted January 5, 2013 Blume, men have control over their natural sexual urges, believe it or not. I was actually in a somewhat similar "perfect situation" that you described earlier and nothing happened.
KK 3,313 Posted January 5, 2013 Posted January 5, 2013 Well having thoughts still doesn't mean inevitable sexual contact. And sometimes you don't look at certain friends that way. She's just that person you share stuff with, or someone who happens to have some of the same geek ish fetishes you do. It doesn't always have to be sexual.
BLUMENKOHL 1,110 Posted January 5, 2013 Posted January 5, 2013 Blume, men have control over their natural sexual urges, believe it or not. I was actually in a somewhat similar "perfect situation" that you described earlier and nothing happened.Then it wasn't a perfect situation for you. Every man (and I'm sure every woman) has his (her) perfect hand of cards. Of this I'm certain. As for control of course we have it to, to an extent. But we also don't have as much control as we think. Shoot, you can see evidence of that every time you procrastinate.A lot of what we assume to be control is just sets of variables that happen to be working out well for the time being.
Koray Savas 2,260 Posted January 5, 2013 Posted January 5, 2013 While I don't necessarily disagree (about both parts; I'm the biggest procrastinator I know), but there's a level of respect and love I have for these people that would not cause me to infringe upon our friendship. I don't care how saccharine it sounds to you, I firmly believe nothing would happen.
Ollie 1,375 Posted January 5, 2013 Posted January 5, 2013 My wife goes on dates with her hair dresser. He also does my hair. BLUMENKOHL 1
BLUMENKOHL 1,110 Posted January 5, 2013 Posted January 5, 2013 My best hair guy was a young Fireman arms gay man from Ecuador. Sadly I left him behind in California.
Ren 77 Posted January 5, 2013 Posted January 5, 2013 Oh god oh god oh god. This thread. I'm sure it's possible to have a completely platonic friendship but it's damn hard. And as for relationships. Well one would hope your mate is absolutely your best friend. It's what I'm looking for........... Sigh
Trent B 354 Posted January 5, 2013 Posted January 5, 2013 Yup. All though its been hard for Dawn and I with the long distance thing but we started our 5th year November 13th 2012. I just got to get things going to try and move her from Cali to Utah. This long distance is starting to strain us but we both are wanting to stay together.
#SnowyVernalSpringsEternal 12,386 Posted January 5, 2013 Author Posted January 5, 2013 I'm sure it's possible to have a completely platonic friendship but it's damn hard. You saying its harder not to end up on bed with a person you can about on a friendship level then not?I'm sorry, people are more then their biological urges. Ive only ever once been tempted to "fuck a friend". as for relationships. Well one would hope your mate is absolutely your best friend. It's what I'm looking for........... SighNot that is quite a rare thing i think.Its certainly what i will be shooting for.
Jill Sandwich 11,166 Posted January 7, 2013 Posted January 7, 2013 Jerry! We have to have sex to save the friendship!
JoeinAR 1,957 Posted January 7, 2013 Posted January 7, 2013 Why?If Blume is to be believed its attraction that kills any chance of true friendship.So a gay man cannot be just friends with another gay man.If Blume and Lee are to be believed....it's best if gay men are friends with gay men they are not attracted too, ie bears attracted to bears are friends with twinks or ugly bears, you know something you're not attracted too.the big difference between men and women is that men understand the difference between sex and love, try explaining that to a women.
#SnowyVernalSpringsEternal 12,386 Posted January 7, 2013 Author Posted January 7, 2013 the big difference between men and women is that men understand the difference between sex and love, try explaining that to a women.Thats the greatest generalization in this thread yet...Women know!
JoeinAR 1,957 Posted January 7, 2013 Posted January 7, 2013 it's not a generalization at all but a pointed difference that many women, and some men cannot differentiate between. Of course they say it's a cop out.
Ollie 1,375 Posted January 7, 2013 Posted January 7, 2013 the big difference between men and women is that men understand the difference between sex and love, try explaining that to a women.Actually you could reverse that.
#SnowyVernalSpringsEternal 12,386 Posted January 7, 2013 Author Posted January 7, 2013 Ever had a women who made you fall in love with her for her own wicked reasons?I had. Trust me, plenty of women know the difference and how to use it.
Brónach 1,330 Posted January 7, 2013 Posted January 7, 2013 I can bet something that I'm one of these that confuses sex with love.
#SnowyVernalSpringsEternal 12,386 Posted January 7, 2013 Author Posted January 7, 2013 Probably.Most people, men and women make that mistake at one pint
Koray Savas 2,260 Posted January 7, 2013 Posted January 7, 2013 Sex is physical, love is emotional. Sometimes the two can be entwined but they are very separate entities.
#SnowyVernalSpringsEternal 12,386 Posted January 7, 2013 Author Posted January 7, 2013 Yes they are, but they can very easily be mistaken.Thats why usually "friends with benefits" type things don't last.
Brónach 1,330 Posted January 7, 2013 Posted January 7, 2013 The whole friends with benefits thing sounds very strange for me.
#SnowyVernalSpringsEternal 12,386 Posted January 7, 2013 Author Posted January 7, 2013 I can kinda see it working short time, but for years?Blume?
Jay 46,243 Posted January 7, 2013 Posted January 7, 2013 I had a friend with benefits for years. it was awesome.
#SnowyVernalSpringsEternal 12,386 Posted January 7, 2013 Author Posted January 7, 2013 Yes, tell us man!
BLUMENKOHL 1,110 Posted January 7, 2013 Posted January 7, 2013 Blume?I think sex between non-romantically involved people is the victim of an unfair and horribly outdated taboo. I can see why it came up in the days prior to birth control and STD protection, but it has no place any more. Now, I don't think people who have sex with one another for fun are just friends anymore (again, to me a true platonic friendship exists purely and completely beyond any and all sexual attraction), but I also don't think two people who are having fun casual sex are necessarily romantically involved.
Jay 46,243 Posted January 7, 2013 Posted January 7, 2013 She was a college friend of a girl I was dating after I was out of college. It began with 3somes then after I broke up with the girlfriend, the other girl and I had sex on and off for years until she met and began dating the guy who is now her husband. We are still great friends - one of many female friends I have.
Quintus 6,495 Posted January 7, 2013 Posted January 7, 2013 Probably.Most people, men and women make that mistake at one pintCan't hold your ale? For me it's more like five pints.
#SnowyVernalSpringsEternal 12,386 Posted January 7, 2013 Author Posted January 7, 2013 one of many female friends I have.Are you paying attention Blume!
BLUMENKOHL 1,110 Posted January 7, 2013 Posted January 7, 2013 one of many female friends I have.Are you paying attention Blume!I'm sure if I counted my female acquaintances the way Jay does, I too could say the same thing.
Jay 46,243 Posted January 7, 2013 Posted January 7, 2013 She's not just an aquantance, she's a great friend who has helped me through many rough times (not in that way, by being there to listen and give advice)I also have another great female friend who I have never slept with or had any desire for who has also been there for me in rough times.I cherish greatly my friendships with both.
#SnowyVernalSpringsEternal 12,386 Posted January 7, 2013 Author Posted January 7, 2013 Im sure Jason simply knows when or when not to think with his nether regions instead of his head.I cherish greatly my friendships with both.You will never convince him...
BLUMENKOHL 1,110 Posted January 7, 2013 Posted January 7, 2013 Yup. You will never convince me. You will simply prove me right over time.
#SnowyVernalSpringsEternal 12,386 Posted January 7, 2013 Author Posted January 7, 2013 17 against 5 in the poll now! You will simply prove me right over time.What will you do if you are right?
hornist 1,261 Posted January 7, 2013 Posted January 7, 2013 17 against 5 in the poll now!Yeah. 17 kiddies against 5 grown-ups, who have seen the life and it's polymorphic faces. BLUMENKOHL and Quintus 2
Brónach 1,330 Posted January 7, 2013 Posted January 7, 2013 I think women are people first and sex objectives later so superficially this poll doesn't make much sense for me.However some say that the man and the woman can't be sexually attracted to each other for the answer to be yes, which will mean the annswer is no in most cases because men are wired to appreciate and react to beauty in women and the other way around, unless they are homosexual. The thing here is that I fail to see how that inherent sexual attraction to the opposite gender diminishes the existence of genuine friendship in any way with the opposite gender.I expressed myself the best I could.Probably the thing here is that term "platonic" is being thrown there for some reason, which some understand as they find convenient.
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