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Posted

Dear Santa!

I want Christopher Nolan to reboot the Harry Potter movies,

and everything is realistic, explainable, no nonsense. No

witchcraft, wizards and without any magic. Just back to the

basics.

I think it's about time.

Augie

resized_Enquiry_into_Witchcraft.jpg

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Posted

:lol:

Burn the witch! Burn her!

Posted

I can hear Zimmer's pounding one note theme already!

And imagine the plot: it'd be a complete and utter labyrinth of indecipherable teen angst; rich in a flavour of grave seriousness.

Posted

Nolan (ˈnəʊlən) : 1. Demythesizer

Posted

I can picture how Nolan would tackle Percy Jackson and the Olympians:

For Zeus he would naturally have

Yeah, Zeus! As in, father of Apollo? Mt. Olympus? Don't fuck with me or I'll shove a lightning bolt up your ass? Zeus! You got a problem with that?

Zeus.gif

Posted

And straight out of the left field, Chris Evan will be cast as Lord Voldemort, tragically dying just after principle photography has wrapped.

Posted

Oh yeah beware the Nolan curse. Worse than Avada kedavra.

Posted

The final scene of the final movie would be Potter waking up, on a beach, next to a spinning top.

Posted

In Nolan's showdown, Harry would lose the fight.

He's no grown-up. He's a child. Voldy is an adult.

Harry can't win.

Posted

In Nolan's showdown, Harry would lose the fight.

He's no grown-up. He's a child. Voldy is an adult.

Harry can't win.

And it would be fought with guns since there is no such thing as magic!
Posted

The kids use only bolo knives, and brass knuckles.

Weasley has just an old hosepipe.

Usually, Voldemort kills pupils with a heavy brick.

But what about Ken Loach's Jurassic Park?

Posted

In Nolan's showdown, Harry would lose the fight.

He's no grown-up. He's a child. Voldy is an adult.

Harry can't win.

In Nolan's film, Harry would die the night his parents were killed by Voldy. A baby cannot survive when being attacked by the greatest terrorist (since Voldy wouldn't be a wizard) the world has ever seen.

True. Except Voldy would have short term memory loss and he would have to piece together his killing of the Potter family through the film while his money grabbing friend Wormtail would try to "help" him. And in the end you finally find out what he has done at which point of course the film ends in a big question mark what happens after.
Posted

A gritty reboot of the Harry Potter films? If there's one thing I DON'T want to see, it's that.

I already consider about 75% of the current Harry Potter films to be too gritty and to have lost the magic and sense of fun that they should have had.

Seriously, when I watched the last film, I could not make out what was going on for about half the time. Misguided direction? For certain!

Can't stand that "modern movie syndrome". Dark, gritty, "over-realistic", YUCK!

Posted

Exactly!

Posted

A gritty reboot of the Harry Potter films? If there's one thing I DON'T want to see, it's that.

I already consider about 75% of the current Harry Potter films to be too gritty and to have lost the magic and sense of fun that they should have had.

Seriously, when I watched the last film, I could not make out what was going on for about half the time. Misguided direction? For certain!

Can't stand that "modern movie syndrome". Dark, gritty, "over-realistic", YUCK!

Humor. It is a difficult concept.

Posted
Humor. It is a difficult concept.
Don't worry, I know it was meant to be funny. Just seemed like a good opportunity to whine about modern movies. :lick:
Posted

I can already see Zimmer telling fans "Hedwig's Theme" or "Harry's Wondrous World" is too "jolly". He'll hold back his own theme b/c Harry hasn't earned it yet b/c he's still learning how to be a master wizard or whatever.

Posted

And straight out of the left field, Chris Evan will be cast as Lord Voldemort, tragically dying just after principle photography has wrapped.

No, he'll get Tom Hardy to play Voldy.

And Michael Caine for Dumbledore, obviously.

Christian Bale could be Snape. Why on earth am I even taking part in this discussion...

Posted

And straight out of the left field, Chris Evan will be cast as Lord Voldemort, tragically dying just after principle photography has wrapped.

No, he'll get Tom Hardy to play Voldy.

And Michael Caine for Dumbledore, obviously.

Christian Bale could be Snape. Why on earth am I even taking part in this discussion...

And Joseph Gordon-Levitt as the young teenage Harry Potter ;)

Posted

I'm Harry Potter

in a deep yet quiet gutteral voice.

Posted

Let him just reboot everything. High School Musical included.

Karol

Posted

Christopher Nolan's THE SANTA CLAUSE.

Posted

Nolan's Batman movies aren't actually realistic. It's the illusion of realism.

Posted

Nolan's Batman movies aren't actually realistic. It's the illusion of realism.

Actually, its the realism of illusion.

Posted

Haven't you guys heard yet? Nolan is remaking the Lord of the Rings trilogy! And Quint here has already revealed the title of the film for us ;)

The Dark Lord Rises.

Posted

Haven't you guys heard yet? Nolan is remaking the Lord of the Rings trilogy! And Quint here has already revealed the title of the film for us ;)

The Dark Lord Rises.

Probably he's making The Silmarillion instead of remaking LOTR...

Posted

Haven't you guys heard yet? Nolan is remaking the Lord of the Rings trilogy! And Quint here has already revealed the title of the film for us ;)

The Dark Lord Rises.

Probably he's making The Silmarillion instead of remaking LOTR...

Nah, the Silmarillion is too episodic for Nolan's tastes. And even more fantastical than LOTR, so its harder for him to smash into a sense of realism ;)

Posted

I want to see him reboot The Color Purple next, with Beyonce.

that fat assed Beyonce is too skanky
Posted

I want Nolan to reboot the whole Star Wars films... With Zimmer scoring the opening crawl...

Posted

fortunately Nolan can't do squat without Ms Rowling's approval, and she won't give it.

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