Jump to content

How will John Williams die?


How will John Williams die?  

56 members have voted

  1. 1.

    • Heart ripped out in thuggee ceremony
      3
    • Throat crushed by Darth Vader
      0
    • Blown Up by Amy Irving
      1
    • Killed by Bruce The Shark leaping on his boat swallowing him whole.
      0
    • Face melts when opening the Ark
      2
    • Melted away after touching head of small boy in Hogwarts basement.
      0
    • Traveling back in time and shot while trying to catch guy at grassy knoll in Dallas
      0
    • Devoured by T-Rex while sitting in outhouse.
      2
    • Shot by diarrhea suffering Harrison Ford
      4
    • Death by William Ross tooth jabbed through Chamber Of Secrets sheetmusic.
      5
    • Skinny dipping at night, eaten by Great white.
      1
    • Skinny dipping at daytime, impaled by Japanese periscope
      2
    • Killed by Goldsmith for conducting Star Trek: The Motion Picture theme to damn slow.
      2
    • Killed by Boston Pops Orchestra for having them play the Star Wars theme yet again.
      3
    • Death by heart attack after learning who will score The Color Purple.
      0
    • Dies of heart attack upon learning so many alternate takes were used for Star Wars in the Star Wars Anthology box set
      5
    • Mistakenly takes pills meant for a goat.
      5
    • Natural causes.
      15
    • Other (specify)
      6


Recommended Posts

He'll commit suicide after learning his Episode 3 score was rejected in favor of Claus Baddet

Or the Dementors will suck his soul out...either way.

K.M.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Throat crushed by Darth Vader

I'd much rather see Vader hurl Williams down into the core of the Death Star.

That would mean acknowledging the existence of a second Death Star, and I'm just not capable of doing that anymore.

choke.jpg

Neil

Link to comment
Share on other sites

That would mean acknowledging the existence of a second Death Star, and I'm just not capable of doing that anymore.

Another thread where Neil bitches about Star Wars... :thumbup:

Actually, I'd rather Williams be shot in the belly by Walter Donovan only to be revived by the Holy Grail. Then Williams could continue to live in the Canyon of the Crescent Moon for eternity composing film scores. :)

Jeff

Link to comment
Share on other sites

That would mean acknowledging the existence of a second Death Star, and I'm just not capable of doing that anymore.

Another thread where Neil bitches about Star Wars... :thumbup:

Another thread where Jeff points out I'm bitching about Star Wars. Of course I'm actually bitching here about Return of the Jedi.

Anyway, I did write an alternate poll choice of having Vader thrown into a bottomless pit, but I thought the "throat crushed" choice was funnier.

Maybe someday the full poll will be released with alternates!

Neil

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Throat crushed by Darth Vader

I'd much rather see Vader hurl Williams down into the core of the Death Star.

That would mean acknowledging the existence of a second Death Star, and I'm just not capable of doing that anymore.

choke.jpg

Neil

Can you Photoshop this and put Williams instead of Captain Antilles?

K.M.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Killed by Neil S. Bulk for referring to his 77 Oscar winning score as "A New Hope".

If you were to add this in with all of the other poll options, I'd still say this is the one least likely to happen.

Neil

Link to comment
Share on other sites

you idiots attacking Neil, in your lame attempts at humor, bringing you to a level even lower than the worst Rob Schnieder film,

would pay attention, John always refers to Star Wars as Star Wars.

Joe, who is contemplating John's demise.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

you idiots attacking Neil, in your lame attempts at humor, bringing you to a level even lower than the worst Rob Schnieder film,

Let's not say something we might regret here......

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Well now, I think I've found out how John will die, its quite interesting, and surprisingly not among the choices above

John closed his eyes, reminicing. His mind briefly turned to the music on the stereo, James Horner's Testemant.

A soothing score just for perfect for this moment John thought. He thought back to that moment.... He and Mark had been talking

about his music, when the discussion turned to other topics. The was a rappore with Mark that he had not experienced with

anyone in a long time. Rappore was the wrong word. Heat was more correct if somewhat crude. There was lust, pure and raw.

Mark asked about autoerotisism. John acknowledge that he was quite familiar with this form of self pleasure. In such moments I

compose some of my best stuff. I composed the Face of Pan in a moment of ecstacy. Mark said it is a pleasure best shared.

John considered this and agreed. Both he and Mark took there belts and tied them around their necks, and the other end tied to

light fixtures on the wall. He remembered their naked forms glistening in the light, as Zimmer's The Rock score blaired in the background.

Their self pleasuring reaching a new hights as their conscienceness dimmed as the pure sexual pleasure achieved its full and satisfying

end. John worked hard to recreate that moment, but as Mark said, it was a pleasure best shared. Still he enjoyed the feeling of near

death in a moment of sexual release. John's phone rang and he turned his head, the stool he stood upon slipped away, and John fell.

The noose of the belt tightened. Unable to reach the floor, and unable to pull himself free, the moment of ecstacy grew beyond his imagination, again he saw the Face of Pan, and it was Mark's, and then he was no more.

Later police reports would say that he died of natural causes. Indeed he died with a smile of his face.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

From Darth Furter.

I think his ultimate demise will be the day he runs into a "JWFan.net Message Board" on Google, and a full hour passes until he finally finds a topic about John Williams, and this one deals with the sexual implications of his turtleneck wearing habits at that.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

That is funny - strange, yes, but funny.

My take?

He'll get a hand on a Portkey that will lead him to a cemetary, and the last thing he'll see is a flash of green light.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

This thread could get interesting...

K.M.

Could get interesting?

chokejwdone.jpg

King Mark, strangling John Williams because he's doing to many artsy fartsy serious scores with Steven Spielberg.

Great,I need a new signature..

K.M.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I feel he will die by any one of these 4 methods:

1. He will drown in his own vomit upon learning that Spielberg has hired Hans Zimmer to score all future Spielberg movies upon his death.

2. He will have a big rock fall on him courtesy of Acme Inc.

3. I will personally murder him if he dares scores another murder scene for any of my Japanese anime movies.

4. He's dead, Jim.

Hitch, rubbing his hands and chins will glee and sharpening the 20" steak knife. HAHAHAHAH

Link to comment
Share on other sites

www.dictionary.com

It saves so many question.

"The best book-to-web adaptation this side of moviepoopshootdotcom!"

In this case:

1. A staff member of a hotel or apartment complex who assists guests or residents, as by handling the storage of luggage, taking and delivering messages, and making reservations for tours.

2. A person, especially in France, who lives in an apartment house, attends the entrance, and serves as a janitor.

And it need not make sense, I brought it only for the sake of the joke, where a woman says, after repeatedly being called madame (implying the operator of a bordello): "I'm not a madame! I'm a concierge!"

Taken from Mel Brooks' The Producers

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Guest
This topic is now closed to further replies.
×
×
  • Create New...

Important Information

By using this site, you agree to our Guidelines.