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FILM: Cowboys And Aliens (2011)


Koray Savas

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Cowboys And Aliens

Such an awful mess of a film I don't even know where to start. Well let's start by saying I will reference specific plot points. Spoilers ahead:

The plot and dialogue are just downright terrible and ridiculous. Craig, Ford, Rockwell, and hell even Dano and Brown are all good actors, yet even they can't make me believe the shit coming out of their mouths. There is absolutely zero character development, so when the time comes for me to care about them (see tender moment between Ford and Adam Beach), I'm just sitting back shaking my head. Literally too. The aliens have no motive for being on Earth or even doing what they are doing. Gold? Ford's response to the revelation was probably the only thing that made sense in the whole movie. "Gold?! What're they going to do? Buy something?" They didn't even try to explain why they were taking people. From the crappy flashback moments it seems they wanted their organs. For what? I've no fucking clue why a different species would need our organs and gold. Oh, and what was up with the giant fucking cruise liner in the middle of the desert? The characters acknowledged it being out of place, too bad the screenwriters didn't.

Production values are good enough, but the art direction is so bad it took me out of the film. I understand that there are aliens in this cowboy world, but at least try to make the Old West convincing. Olivia Wilde strolling around with her make-up, tweezed eyebrows and flowing long hair doesn't belong in the 1800s. Daniel Craig speaking with his gangster Road To Perdition accent doesn't belong. Cinematography was crap. I don't know what was going on with the night scenes, some of the worst lit night scenes I've seen in awhile.

The finale was a boring mess. First, why the hell was the idiot kid talking to himself the whole time? I mean, technically the dog was with him, but seriously? "There are more coming!" Come on Lassie, go down to the battlefield and help! :rolleyes: Also when he stabbed that alien who was trying to grope him, the flies got to the body pretty darn quick. Small detail, but a jarring one. My friend and I laughed. The showdown between Craig and the aliens in the mothership proved to be a cinch. Oh look a giant tunnel filled with aliens! They all have the same weapon as me but seem to preoccupied with climbing, I'll just blow all 80 of them away in 30 seconds from one standing position. That's it? Alright let's get outta here! Oh wait, there's the dude who's eye I cut. Seems he's been waiting for me for sometime. What's he going to do? Oh, he just wants eye for an eye, literally.

So yes, a giant mess of a film. Harry Gregson-Williams score was serviceable with some highlights.

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I agree with some of the criticism, although I thought it was an entertaining movie overall. The biggest "yeah right" in my mind when I left the theatre was why didn't the aliens call some of their buddies with ships to help fight that battle instead of attacking the humans on foot?

And Daniel Craig's hand falling straight into that bracelet/weapon thing seemed a little strange...why would they keep a bracelet weapon right next to one of their prisoners?

The aliens have no motive for being on Earth or even doing what they are doing. Gold? Ford's response to the revelation was probably the only thing that made sense in the whole movie. "Gold?! What're they going to do? Buy something?" They didn't even try to explain why they were taking people. From the crappy flashback moments it seems they wanted their organs. For what? I've no fucking clue why a different species would need our organs and gold. Oh, and what was up with the giant fucking cruise liner in the middle of the desert? The characters acknowledged it being out of place, too bad the screenwriters didn't.

I thought that made sense...Americans invaded Natives for their resources, so I don't think it's too farfetched to imagine aliens invading other planets for resources. And they experimented on humans so they could discover their weaknesses, and how to kill them.

Agree about your comments on the final battle, but again I still found it to be entertaining and fun.

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I honestly wish they had taken this cast (characters and actors) and crew and made a Western without aliens. I really enjoyed the early scenes, particularly where Dano is making trouble in the town square.

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I find it to be waaaaay too long, and really unengaging character-wise and story-wise. The slow motion turns cool special effects into cheesy gimmicks. Most of the best parts are taken straight out of Star Wars. And the script is horrible. Like at the end, when that

kid is mourning over his father's death, and somebody walks up and says "Hey kid, what your dad did was brave, you should be proud." And then the kid smiles and stops mourning, as if he just needed to know that what his dad did was brave? No shit it was brave, shouldn't he still be sulking over, you know, the fact that he's never going to see his father again?

I've seen this movie a few times to try and understand its appeal, and every time I just feel like I wasted 10 hours of my life (at least it feels like 10 hours).

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The Western as a serious genre for big budgets and big stars is dead! much like pirate films, if they don't have supernatural elements, obvious comedy and Johnny Depp.

3:10 To Yuma, The Assassination Of Jesse James By The Coward Robert Ford, No Country For Old Men, and There Will Be Blood disagree with you.

My biggest fear is that it's written by the same guys who did the Transformers and new Star Trek.

Yes, they are awful writers. The script seems to have been rewritten a couple times though. First Orci and Kurtzman, then Damon Lindelof, and then two other guys.

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ID4 is one of the worst movies I've ever seen. I hate everything about it, except the music and some of the acting.

See now this statement could've created a bit of interest in the proper film thread.

ID4 > WotW

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It's increasingly more difficult to do things we haven't done already.

I might start up a "Which composer most deserves a prison sentence for crimes against film music" thread.

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I'm sorry is there a version of this film from some other year than 2011?

The Western as a serious genre for big budgets and big stars is dead! much like pirate films, if they don't have supernatural elements, obvious comedy and Johnny Depp.

3:10 To Yuma, The Assassination Of Jesse James By The Coward Robert Ford, No Country For Old Men, and There Will Be Blood disagree with you.

My biggest fear is that it's written by the same guys who did the Transformers and new Star Trek.

Yes, they are awful writers. The script seems to have been rewritten a couple times though. First Orci and Kurtzman, then Damon Lindelof, and then two other guys.

wow Stefan how could you forget those big blockbuster films. I mean they all were true blockbusters, breaking 200 million, ok 100 million, okay so they didn't do that either. Okay so they were basically a blip at the boxoffice, but they were popular on the rental circuit.

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I'm sorry is there a version of this film from some other year than 2011?

The Western as a serious genre for big budgets and big stars is dead! much like pirate films, if they don't have supernatural elements, obvious comedy and Johnny Depp.

3:10 To Yuma, The Assassination Of Jesse James By The Coward Robert Ford, No Country For Old Men, and There Will Be Blood disagree with you.

My biggest fear is that it's written by the same guys who did the Transformers and new Star Trek.

Yes, they are awful writers. The script seems to have been rewritten a couple times though. First Orci and Kurtzman, then Damon Lindelof, and then two other guys.

wow Stefan how could you forget those big blockbuster films. I mean they all were true blockbusters, breaking 200 million, ok 100 million, okay so they didn't do that either. Okay so they were basically a blip at the boxoffice, but they were popular on the rental circuit.

How much a film grosses has nothing to do with its budget and cast. I'll admit none of the films had huge budgets, but if a good ol' Western costs as much as the latest CGI crapfest, then something is truly wrong.

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How much a film grosses has nothing to do with its budget and cast.

Right. And with hyperinflation approaching, SMURFS 2: RISE OF GARGAMEL could easily make 400 billion in domestic grosses!

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How much a film grosses has nothing to do with its budget and cast. I'll admit none of the films had huge budgets, but if a good ol' Western costs as much as the latest CGI crapfest, then something is truly wrong.

Koray, westerns are out of fashion. Period!

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I'm sorry is there a version of this film from some other year than 2011?

The Western as a serious genre for big budgets and big stars is dead! much like pirate films, if they don't have supernatural elements, obvious comedy and Johnny Depp.

3:10 To Yuma, The Assassination Of Jesse James By The Coward Robert Ford, No Country For Old Men, and There Will Be Blood disagree with you.

My biggest fear is that it's written by the same guys who did the Transformers and new Star Trek.

Yes, they are awful writers. The script seems to have been rewritten a couple times though. First Orci and Kurtzman, then Damon Lindelof, and then two other guys.

wow Stefan how could you forget those big blockbuster films. I mean they all were true blockbusters, breaking 200 million, ok 100 million, okay so they didn't do that either. Okay so they were basically a blip at the boxoffice, but they were popular on the rental circuit.

How much a film grosses has nothing to do with its budget and cast. I'll admit none of the films had huge budgets, but if a good ol' Western costs as much as the latest CGI crapfest, then something is truly wrong.

Come on Koray, you can do better than that. what a piss poor answer. Course you were the one that smelled bomb for a big hit a few years ago. ;)

I don't want to look it up but when was the last time a western broke 100 million dollars let alone 200 million.

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Again, what does a film's budget and cast have to do with how much it grosses? A film could cost $250 million and have an ensemble of Oscar winners and still flop.

He said "The Western as a serious genre for big budgets and big stars is dead!"

While the film's I mentioned don't have outrageously high budgets, they have star-studded casts. Either way, unless there's a ton of unnecessary CGI in a Western, it shouldn't have a huge budget.

3:10 To Yuma grossed $53 with a budget of $55, and starred Christian Bale and Russell Crowe.

No Country For Old Men grossed $74 and starred Javier Bardem and Tommy Lee Jones.

The Assassination Of Jesse James only grossed $4 but it was a limited release, and starred Brad Pitt and Casey Affleck.

There Will Be Blood grossed $40 with a budget of $25 and starred Daniel Day-Lewis.

Hell, throw Rango into the list. It's as much a Western as any of the others.

All of these films are not only serious but have big stars. That's the only point I'm trying to make. The Western isn't dead, it's just no longer over bloated with a bunch of crap.

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Isn't there a philosophical meaning to the title? Maybe the aliens can be seen as cowboys, and the actual cowboys as aliens in their community.

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I haven't seen the film either, but from a merely theoretical point of view, one can understand why in a world where cowboys and aliens collide, the aliens want the gold. There's no rising the stakes any higher in that setting.

Whether that makes sense in the actual film or not is the writer's problem.

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