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Posted

So, some of you may or may not know or remember that my mother battled stomach cancer just over two years ago. It was rough, but she made it through and beat it.

Well over the last two weeks or so she mentioned feeling drained and lacking appetite, so she went in for some blood work yesterday, and things didn't sound too chipper when the doctor asked her to come in for the results rather than giving them over the phone. There were some values about 6x higher than they should have been, so the doctor ordered an ultrasound, to be done today. The results of that showed "spots" on her liver, and enlarged lymph nodes around the pancreas.

The doctors say it's not technically anything conclusive, but given her history, it's definitely worrisome. And their looks and words weren't exactly reassuring today. So on Monday she's been scheduled for some more tests to get down to the bottom of what might be going on.

Sooooooo things may be getting exciting with Tintin and War Horse and I may drop off the face of the earth for a short while during it. Life happens sometimes, sometimes good and sometimes sad. :):( I'll try to stay as active as possible. But if I disappear for a while, I am no deserter! I still love you folks and this place.

But if you pray and can include one more person, I'm sure my mom would appreciate it. If you don't good vibes are just as great. If you're Tom Cruise, I'm sure she'd love alien positive energy points from ya as well.

But the most important thing I want to say, something I've slowly been learning over the last few years: spend time with you parents. Give 'em a call right now. Tell them you love them. Because inevitably, we all seem to get to the point where we wish we started doing stuff like that just even a day sooner.

Posted

Sorry to hear that, Blu. I hope your mom recovers quickly and completely.

Posted

I feel so sorry for your mother and you.

Cancer is such an awfull decease.

Posted

I wish the best of all to your mother and you. I hope she pull out again.

And I fully second your statement... While my parents are enjoying fine health for their age, they won't be around much longer and every second spent with them is a blessing -- even when the two start a mindless argument about grapes or something absolutely irrelevant...

Posted

Best wishes, I hope everything turns out for the best!

My grandmother just went with a rough year, being diagnosed with breast cancer, luckily caught early and removed, and then only months later with ovarian cancer, which was removed too. Things are looking good for her, happily, but at 82 you never know what will happen next. This bothers me enough, I can't imagine how I would feel if it was one of my parents in that position though. Be strong!

Posted

That's too bad, Blumenkohl. I'll be rooting for you and your mum and pray everything turns out ok.

Posted

Well wishes for your mom, Blume. My mother also went through cancer and came out of it intact - better than ever, really. In fact... yeah, I'll give her a call today.

Posted

Best of luck to you and your mom Blume. Stay safe man and hope the treatments your mom gets helps her.

Posted

I hope she will make it through and beat it again.Best wishes.

And yes, I will call my own Mom tomorrow, she is recovering from a car accident.

Posted

Best wishes Blume

Posted

I know what this is like. I hope she gets well. Best of luck. Really.

And about the time with your parents, you're right. I realized that when I left home.

Posted

Best wishes to both your mother and you. I hope she gets well soon.

  • 9 months later...
Posted

Welp, update time, less than a year later, some complications from chemo are keeping her from continuing it. Unless those resolve in the next couple of weeks, there's no more chemo. And that will allow the cancer to propagate willy-nilly.

To use an aptly chosen Star Trek Generations quote:

Kirk: "I take it the odds are against us and the situation is grim?"

Picard: "You could say that."

I think the most unsettling part in all this is watching someone age 20 years in 8 months. Your brain can't help but go "How the hell is that possible?"

Posted

It's a terrible thing to have to go through, and I wish you and your mom luck and strength.

Posted

I'm so sorry to hear that...we're all here for you, buddy. Hang in there, both of you.

Posted

Good luck to your mother and family, Blume. I'm sorry you have to be going through this. Hang in there!

Posted

Sorry to hear this Blume. Stay strong.

Posted

Despite the physical toll, and there's no way of going around it, cancer obliterates its victims bodies, and the chemo adds to that, she's still cracking jokes, chewing me out, and worrying about keeping us eating healthy and sleeping. Y'know the usual mom stuff. :) It's actually quite remarkable, considering I cower and whimper in a ball with a mild cold. ;)

And all this after her doctors told her to try and talk less (she's short on oxygen, which makes talking a bitch). We actually had to resort to playing the silent game with her.

Thanks for all the positive thoughts and prayers. And thanks for letting me vent my thoughts here, it helps.

Also, a word of wisdom, which I was lucky to have a cancer surviving co-worker pull me aside and tell me this when all this started. And I think it's something everyone should know, given that 1 in 2 Westerners will end up with cancer at some point in their lives:

The whole "fight cancer" stuff is pretty much a lie. There's no fight. That's actually what sucks about it. The helplessness. There's nothing really anyone, not even the patient, can do but watch her take her medication and hope it works. The "battle" mentality will result in all kinds of family arguments with the person who is sick and in the end will make every downturn the person takes seem like a defeat or failure...rather than a natural course for the horrible ailment. And that is not something you want to add to your plate or theirs.

Posted

Wow. Oh my god. I'm so sorry

Posted

Oh I am so sorry to hear this. My warmest thoughts and brightest hopes to you both.

Posted

The whole "fight cancer" stuff is pretty much a lie. There's no fight. That's actually what sucks about it. The helplessness. There's nothing really anyone, not even the patient, can do but watch her take her medication and hope it works. The "battle" mentality will result in all kinds of family arguments with the person who is sick and in the end will make every downturn the person takes seem like a defeat or failure...rather than a natural course for the horrible ailment. And that is not something you want to add to your plate or theirs.

Yes, depicting cancer as a fight you can win with a "positive attitude" sends out all the wrong messages . Yet you see that again and again on TV talk shows. Those who survive are lucky, period.

Posted

Hang in there, Blume. I can't imagine how difficult this is.

Posted

I am so sorry to hear of this. My uncle died of cancer five years ago leaving a 12 year old girl behind. My thoughts are with you all.

And I think you're right. Since then I've been convinced that the only possible fight against such terrible things can only be done in a laboratory, with money, time and hope for the future. Someday, this has to stop. It's only fair.

Posted

This is awful. I am very sorry to hear all this. My warmest thoughts and most sincere prayers go out to you you and your mother Blume. I know how awful this must be for you. May fortune be on your side.

Posted

hope things work out.

  • 3 weeks later...
Posted

So there's basically no chance treatment is going to be resumed because in the break between treatment the cancer has probably obliterated the liver. And she can't take solid food anymore.

We haven't gotten a final word from the doctor, but from my own assessment...I'd be shocked to see her survive more than a week or two. If that.

So for the time being...I'm going to continue on with work and go visit her in the evenings, even though work people don't want me there (helps to have awesome understanding people at work!). And I'd rather spend time with her as well. But she wants me to go to work.

I think it makes her feel sad and guilty if her family drops their lives for her. Even though if the situation were reversed she'd be the first to do the life dropping. But I'm gritting my teeth and balancing not making her feel sad or guilty with spending time with her...because that's what makes her happy.

At least for a day or two anyway.

Posted

Again, I'm really sorry to hear this Blum. Stay strong!

Posted

Thanks Ren, Steef, and indy.

And Steef, perspective is a good thing and it can help you think straight, but whatever problems you have right now, they may be just as important and probably just as stressful to you. Maybe in different ways than a parent dying, but still just as important.

I've never been one to like the "it could be worse" thinking. We all have our own problems, and they all affect us differently. And no one else's problems can devalue the toll and pain your problem hits you with.

And I say this because I know a lot of people who do the "your problem sucks, but look I went through this and it was worse, so yours is not a big deal." And I hate that. If someone came up to me and said "yeah your mom is dying, but I just lost two parents" it wouldn't make my mom dying any less painful or stressful.

So I don't want my current trial to make anyone else feel like their trials are any less meaningful, stressful, painful, or important.

If it motivates to spend more time with your loved ones, great. But Steef, I am certain you've gone through your own fair share of pain and stress, so don't shortchange yourself.

Posted

I agree. Everyone's problems are trials we each grow from and build off of individually. You've had your fair share Stefan as have I and neither of us thinks the others issues are any less valid.

Posted

Renovia, I'm no good at being noble, but it doesn't take much to see that the problems of two little people don't amount to a hill of beans in this crazy world compared to Blumes. Someday you'll understand that.

10 bonus points for you good sir for making me smile today!

Well played.

Posted

Blume, I'm truly very heartbroken reading this. My thoughts are with you, your family, and your friends during these upcoming weeks and months. It's only going to get worse, but such is life.

Posted

Blume, I'm very sorry to hear about this. It's a terrible thing you're going through, something we all will sooner or later, but nobody ever wants it to be for that reason or while we're so young. Cherish the happy memories, and store the photos and movies and letters in a safe place. You never want to look back on a beloved family member regretting that you didn't do or say or just be there enough, or remember that you didn't get to say goodbye, so you spending every day with her is the least you can do. There's nothing I can write here that will make it any better.

Posted

Fuck. I wish I could have done that for my dad.

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