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#1 Blumen Cohlsman

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Posted 10 January 2012 - 07:27 AM

There's a lot of young inexperienced folks round this part, time to sit 'em down and teach 'em some life lessons, and hell maybe learn a thing or two ourselves! From love to finance to cooking. Bring it folks!

Here are my first three four pieces of advice to get the ball rolling:

Financial Advice
  • Always buy the best of what you can afford (not necessarily most expensive, but best). It's cheaper to buy something long-lasting than something you'll only get to use a couple of times. And always remember, buy for life. If something lasts you for say...30 years, it works out to Price/(30*365) per day. $3000 worth of furniture you can use for even a mere 10 years costs $0.82 per day.
  • There are some things you want to go as cheap as possible, especially stuff that breaks down fast.
  • For a PC (if you don't play games) , buy the cheapest system available in stores that fit your requirements
  • For a HDTV there is also no need to pay for the top of the line models
  • Start saving. Now. Even if you can just put away $1 a day.


  • For TV's whatever you buy will be archeaic and obsolete in a years time. Buy what you LIKE. Not what the newest trend is.
Everyday Advice
  • Before leaving the house, always check if you have your keys, your wallet and your ID (in case the Government demands you keep one on you at all times).
  • Always check first if there is enough toilet paper left before... doing what you have to do.
  • Always carry a pocket knife or multi-tool. Not really for self-defense, but because it will come in handy for so many other practical applications. Unless you live in the UK.
  • Are your sweaters pilling? (You know...the fuzz balls developing after a lot of washing). Give 'em a good dry shave with your wet-shaving razor.
  • Always wear sunscreen
  • If you're leaving your house/apartment for the weekend, always remember to take your cell phone charger if you don't carry one in your car.


  • When buying a printer, always go for one with 4 seperate ink tanks. It will save you some money in the long run!


  • If your lock is skewed so that it'll work, but only close when you turn the key, don't fix it. Not being able to leave the house without your keys means you can't forget them.
Hobby Advice


  • You don't need a $500 kit to get some nice views of space, a good old 15x70 pair of binoculars are pretty damn good and more easily used.
Photography Advice
  • If you're taking your camera someplace exciting with the intent to take interesting photos, always make sure you have new or freshly charged batteries, along with a spare set handy or the ability to get replacements.
Words of Wisdom
  • If you are no good at lying to your loved ones, then don't even try. If you are, try not to lie all the time.
  • Enjoy life as it is right now. This year will see many misfortunes.
 




Quint & Wojo's Dubious Advice Corner


  • Make the bus come quicker by standing at the corner looking for it coming down the road, then hastily run back to the bus stop.


  • Amateur astronomers: Avoid total blindness by viewing the sun through a telescope rather than binoculars.


  • If you really want to gaze at the sun, just ask your friend to shine a high-powered deer spotting lamp in your face. It will achieve the same desired effect.

[Edit] F*ck everything about Invision Power Board's rich text editor. Look at the mess it made above! Just let me format this by BBcode dammit![/Edit]

#2 BloodBoal

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Posted 10 January 2012 - 09:39 AM

Always check first if there is enough toilet paper left before... doing what you have to do.

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#3 Drax

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Posted 10 January 2012 - 10:14 AM

- Always carry a pocket knife or multi-tool. Not really for self-defense, but because it will come in handy for so many other practical applications. Unless you live in the UK.


Unfortunately us MacGyver wannabes in Australia have to put up with anti-pocket knife laws that'll get you arrested on the spot if you're caught with one. It's legal for stores to sell them, but illegal to carry one. It's a wonder police don't patrol outside the stores in shopping malls and pounce every poor bugger who walks out with one.

#4 Stefancos

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Posted 10 January 2012 - 11:13 AM

Sounds similar to The Netherlands absurd soft-drug laws. Were it is legal for coffee shops to sell marijuana, even though it's illegal for coffee shops to buy it themselves, or to grow them.

Before leaving the house, always check if you have your keys, your wallet and your ID (in case the Government demands you keep one on you at all times).

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#5 Greg1138

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Posted 10 January 2012 - 11:49 AM

Always wear sunscreen.....(although I think someone's mentioned that one before....)...

...actually in the UK you are fine with a multi-tool or pocket knife with a blade that is 3 inches or less....providing you don't brandish it about when you are pissed or something....I have a Leatherman permanently on my person - indespensable tool, as essential to me as an ipod and a pouch of rolling tobacco - and it has never been an issue.

#6 king mark

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Posted 10 January 2012 - 01:29 PM

- Always buy the best of what you can afford (not necessarily most expensive, but best). It's cheaper to buy something long-lasting than something you'll only get to use a couple of times. And always remember, buy for life. If something lasts you for say...30 years, it works out to Price/(30*365) per day. $3000 worth of furniture you can use for even a mere 10 years costs $0.82 per day.



But there are some things you want to go as cheap as possible, especially stuff that breaks down fast.

I think for a PC (if you don't play games) , buy the cheapest system available in stores that fit your requirements
For a HDTV there is also no need to pay for the top of the line models

#7 Stefancos

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Posted 10 January 2012 - 01:34 PM

For TV's. Whatever you buy will be archeaic and obsolete in a years time. Buy what you LIKE. Not what the newest trend is.

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#8 Wojo

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Posted 10 January 2012 - 01:43 PM

If you're taking your camera someplace exciting with the intent to take interesting photos, always make sure you have new or freshly charged batteries, along with a spare set handy or the ability to get replacements.

And if you're leaving your house/apartment for the weekend, always remember to take your cell phone charger if you don't carry one in your car.

Been burned on both before.

#9 Jay

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Posted 10 January 2012 - 02:30 PM

Wear sunscreen.

If I could offer you only one tip for the future, sunscreen would be it. The long-term benefits of sunscreen have been proved by scientists, whereas the rest of my advice has no basis more reliable than my own meandering experience. I will dispense this advice now.

Enjoy the power and beauty of your youth. Oh, never mind. You will not understand the power and beauty of your youth until they've faded. But trust me, in 20 years, you'll look back at photos of yourself and recall in a way you can't grasp now how much possibility lay before you and how fabulous you really looked. You are not as fat as you imagine.

Don't worry about the future. Or worry, but know that worrying is as effective as trying to solve an algebra equation by chewing bubble gum. The real troubles in your life are apt to be things that never crossed your worried mind, the kind that blindside you at 4 p.m. on some idle Tuesday.

Do one thing every day that scares you.

Sing.

Don't be reckless with other people's hearts. Don't put up with people who are reckless with yours.

Floss.

Don't waste your time on jealousy. Sometimes you're ahead, sometimes you're behind. The race is long and, in the end, it's only with yourself.

Remember compliments you receive. Forget the insults. If you succeed in doing this, tell me how.

Keep your old love letters. Throw away your old bank statements.

Stretch.

Don't feel guilty if you don't know what you want to do with your life. The most interesting people I know didn't know at 22 what they wanted to do with their lives. Some of the most interesting 40-year-olds I know still don't.

Get plenty of calcium. Be kind to your knees. You'll miss them when they're gone.

Maybe you'll marry, maybe you won't. Maybe you'll have children, maybe you won't. Maybe you'll divorce at 40, maybe you'll dance the funky chicken on your 75th wedding anniversary. Whatever you do, don't congratulate yourself too much, or berate yourself either. Your choices are half chance. So are everybody else's.

Enjoy your body. Use it every way you can. Don't be afraid of it or of what other people think of it. It's the greatest instrument you'll ever own.

Dance, even if you have nowhere to do it but your living room.

Read the directions, even if you don't follow them.

Do not read beauty magazines. They will only make you feel ugly.

Get to know your parents. You never know when they'll be gone for good. Be nice to your siblings. They're your best link to your past and the people most likely to stick with you in the future.

Understand that friends come and go, but with a precious few you should hold on. Work hard to bridge the gaps in geography and lifestyle, because the older you get, the more you need the people who knew you when you were young.

Live in New York City once, but leave before it makes you hard. Live in Northern California once, but leave before it makes you soft. Travel.

Accept certain inalienable truths: Prices will rise. Politicians will philander. You, too, will get old. And when you do, you'll fantasize that when you were young, prices were reasonable, politicians were noble and children respected their elders.

Respect your elders.

Don't expect anyone else to support you. Maybe you have a trust fund. Maybe you'll have a wealthy spouse. But you never know when either one might run out.

Don't mess too much with your hair or by the time you're 40 it will look 85.

Be careful whose advice you buy, but be patient with those who supply it. Advice is a form of nostalgia. Dispensing it is a way of fishing the past from the disposal, wiping it off, painting over the ugly parts and recycling it for more than it's worth.

But trust me on the sunscreen.

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#10 BloodBoal

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Posted 10 January 2012 - 02:33 PM

Don't read the above post. It's a waste of time.

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#11 Stefancos

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Posted 10 January 2012 - 02:52 PM

I know the song.

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#12 Wojo

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Posted 10 January 2012 - 03:07 PM

I feel better knowing that's a song than believing JLB had suddenly become either a wonderful poet or a deep old soul.

#13 Jay

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Posted 10 January 2012 - 03:14 PM

It was only a song after the fact, it was a newspaper article first

http://www.chicagotr...,4054576.column

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#14 Stefancos

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Posted 10 January 2012 - 04:35 PM

When buying a printer, always go for one with 4 seperate ink tanks. It will save you some money in the long run!

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#15 Blumen Cohlsman

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Posted 10 January 2012 - 04:58 PM

If you need to copy something really long, you don't need to click and drag for 6 thousand miles while you scroll.

Left click at the beginning of what you want to copy, and then shift click at the end. BAM!

#16 Quintus

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Posted 10 January 2012 - 05:59 PM

Make the bus come quicker by standing at the corner looking for it coming down the road, then hastily run back to the bus stop.

#17 Marian Schedenig

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Posted 10 January 2012 - 06:34 PM

Before leaving the house, always check if you have your keys, your wallet and your ID (in case the Government demands you keep one on you at all times).


If your lock is skewed so that it'll work, but only close when you turn the key, don't fix it. Not being able to leave the house without your keys means you can't forget them.

#18 Stefancos

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Posted 10 January 2012 - 10:26 PM

If you are no good at lying to your loved ones, then don't even try.

If you are, try not to lie all the time.

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#19 Quintus

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Posted 10 January 2012 - 10:40 PM

Amateur astronomers: Avoid total blindness by viewing the sun through a telescope rather than binoculars.

#20 Blumen Cohlsman

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Posted 11 January 2012 - 12:33 AM

Amateur astronomers: echoing Quint's sentiments, you don't need a $500 kit to get some nice views of space, a good old 15x70 pair of binoculars are pretty damn good and more easily used.

http://www.amazon.co...26241934&sr=1-1

#21 gkgyver

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Posted 11 January 2012 - 04:37 AM

Enjoy life as it is right now. This year will see many misfortunes.

And at this point I would like to have one minute of silence for the United States of America, whose liberty died on December 31st, 2011.

"You think they wear those tight-fitting clothes just so some other bride can say 'Gee your hips look succulent'? The good-looking ones know we're looking, they love us to be looking, and god bless 'em, they're carrying the rest of their sex!" - Al Bundy


#22 Wojo

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Posted 11 January 2012 - 04:38 AM

If you really want to gaze at the sun, just ask your friend to shine a high-powered deer spotting lamp in your face. It will achieve the same desired effect.

#23 Quintus

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Posted 11 January 2012 - 11:25 AM

Single gents: Save cash on expensive dating agencies by simply standing across the road from your local lonely hearts club and when you see someone you like come out, quietly follow them home at a discreet distance. After they have entered their home, leave a dignified amount of time before knocking on their door and asking them out for a drink.

#24 Blumen Cohlsman

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Posted 11 January 2012 - 07:26 PM

Automobile/Driving Tip:

Always get a car with rear windshield wiper. Not because it helps rearward visibility, but because you can weaponize it against people following you. Spraying your windshield wash will irritate people following too close.

#25 Stefancos

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Posted 11 January 2012 - 08:19 PM

Before washing your trousers, always check if your pockets are empty.

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#26 Jay

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Posted 11 January 2012 - 08:19 PM

ROTFLMAO

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#27 Blumen Cohlsman

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Posted 11 January 2012 - 08:25 PM

Before washing your trousers, always check if your pockets are empty.




#28 Wojo

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Posted 12 January 2012 - 02:10 AM

I tried to click "Like this" on Steef's post, but it said "

You have reached your quota of positive votes for the day

".


Again, where all these happy people frittering away positive vibes?

#29 Jay

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Posted 12 January 2012 - 04:26 AM

I have to enable the like system or something like that. I haven't been arsed to do iet yet

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#30 indy4

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Posted 13 January 2012 - 02:51 AM

Self-deprication can be funny in moderation, but it gets annoying really quickly.
For updates on a new CD/short film featuring brand new concert works by John Williams, Michael Giacchino, Alexandre Desplat, Randy Newman, Don Davis and Bruce Broughton, "like" this facebook page! https://www.facebook.com/MontageFilmComposers

#31 Hlao-roo

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Posted 15 January 2012 - 06:32 AM

Self-deprication can be funny in moderation, but it gets annoying really quickly.


I'm not very good at it.

#32 crocodile

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Posted 15 January 2012 - 09:06 AM

Invest in a casket. That's a sure bet.

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#33 Stefancos

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Posted 15 January 2012 - 12:39 PM

I prefer an urn.

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#34 crocodile

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Posted 15 January 2012 - 09:50 PM

Cheaper solution for hard times.

Karol
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"Modern, serious music has become embroiled in an intellectual discussion that has no place in music. Certainly, the great composer of the past were geniuses and used their intellect, but only to serve their emotions and guide their craft. Not to dictate to them what they should or shouldn't write" - Michael Kamen, 1995

#35 king mark

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Posted 16 January 2012 - 12:12 AM

When there's a good special on stuff you use everyday, buy a lot of it

When you eat at a fast food get 2 burgers instead of 1 burger+ fries, this way you won't gain weight

Never drink sugared cola

#36 Chaac

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Posted 16 January 2012 - 12:20 AM

Drink only water or juice. Avoid wheat.

#37 Datameister

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Posted 16 January 2012 - 08:40 AM

Better yet, drink only water, period. Most juice is just sugar water. If you drink just water for long enough, it starts to become really tasty and appealing...almost addictive, even.

#38 crocodile

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Posted 16 January 2012 - 08:57 AM

The extent to which you are able to delude yourself amazes even me. ;)

Karol - who likes drinking water
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#39 BloodBoal

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Posted 16 January 2012 - 09:10 AM

Better yet, drink only water, period. Most juice is just sugar water. If you drink just water for long enough, it starts to become really tasty and appealing...almost addictive, even.

:lol:

Hi, I'm Data, and I'm a water addict.

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#40 Datameister

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Posted 16 January 2012 - 09:14 AM

I'm not an addict! I could stop drinking water anytime I want! I just don't want to!

...

On a more serious note, if I may offer some advice, despite being relatively young and inexperienced: don't stress. More precisely, don't stress unless you really, really need to. Stepping back, breathing, smiling, and approaching problems with a logical, goal-oriented mindset will do wonders for your overall happiness. (It also improves acne.)




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