What Is The Last Film You Watched? (Older Films)

[JoeinAR 1,949]

18 hours ago, TheGreyPilgrim said:

I wish the Nautilus had a cooler design though.

It's perfect as it is.

[#SnowyVernalSpringsEternal 10,265]

4 hours ago, Mr. Breathmask said:

Batman (1966)

 

Ah, Batman. From a time when people like Adam West could spout dialogue as ridiculous as the stuff in this film and totally get away with it. Make no mistake: Batman is a kids' film. Forget the heightened realism of Nolan, forget the gothic noir of Burton. This is the kind of comic book movie Joel Schumacher must have been watching (Batman & Robin is a clear offspring of this film). It's dumb, it's campy, it's poorly structured and feels much longer than its bristk 105-minute running time, but dagnammit, this is just so much fun. I love it.

 

Some days you just can't get rid of a bomb.

 

It's cheesy fun, but I fell asleep the last time I watched it.

[publicist 4,643]

The last time i watched it i was 9.

[#SnowyVernalSpringsEternal 10,265]

That is probably the perfect age for it.

[Mr. Breathmask 555]

It's hard to sit through, because it's so poorly structured. It's all very episodic. Things just sort of happen and very little has consequences. In its structuring, Batman doesn't feel like a movie at all.

 

It's great for drinking games, though.

[Unlucky Bastard 7,782]

I only miss Julie Newmar in it. Lee Meriwether is alright but Julie just had that special purrrrrr. Even Eartha had more presence.

[Gruesome Son of a Bitch 6,488]

Just think of all the times that flick leaves you completely incredulous. The exploding shark, the noble almost-human porpoise hurling itself in front of the torpedo, the Batcopter landing on the foam rubber wholesalers convention.

 

"I'd say the odds against it would make even the most reckless gambler cringe! True, I did think I'd spotted it out of the corner of my eye!"

[Loert 2,511]

The Star Wars Holiday Special (1978), or to be more specific, the first 20 minutes of it. I couldn't sit through any longer without getting physically sick.

 

The only redeeming factor is the score, which tries to do something interesting with Williams' original themes. I remember something which seemed to be a variation of the bridge from the main theme, and a few rebel fanfares (e.g. when we see a framed picture of Chewbacca).

 

But Carrie Fisher's song at the end (which I skipped to) was just atrocious. Her voice clashes with the Star Wars countermelody badly, to the point that it's unlistenable (either sing the Star Wars melody, or don't include it in the instrumental at all).

 

Don't watch this unless you're an ardent Star Wars fan who must absolutely see everything to do with it, AND find yourself in the situation where you really have nothing better to do for at least one and a half hours than watch the film equivalent of a turd.

[A24 4,331]

I don't think I've ever been as shocked as when I watched the Star Wars Holiday Special. 

[#SnowyVernalSpringsEternal 10,265]

Star Wars: Episode II - Attack Of The Clones

 

Only the third time I have seen this film. The last time was in 2002.

 

When I reviewed TPM last week I started with the things I did like. It seems harder this time because AOTC actually leaves so little of an impression, even though it ended minutes ago.

 

Ewan genuinely seemed to be trying in parts of it. He's a charismatic actor an occasionally it shows. Christopher Lee, a veteran of seemingly hundreds of mediocre films does what he was paid to do with some grace. And now I'm actually struggling to come up with anything more.

 

I can't even praise the special effects, because they are largely awful.

I don't know if it's the combination of 2005 CGI, one of the first films that was shot 100% digital and the fact that 1080p home video generally is very sharp. But with the exception of only a handful of shots there is never the impression that any of it is real.

The sterile feel of the sets and the special effects is unbelievable. And there is hardly any respite from them. There are a few scenes that seem like were shot without any CGI in them and they actually distract.

Anything from Padme and Ani frolicking around in an unbelievably fake looking Naboo scenery, to Jedi masters walking around in vast halls.

 

The Coruscant chase is set in a background that is obviously inspired by Blade Runner. But that film used smoke, camera angles, diffusion, lightning to create a world thick with atmosphere. There is nothing like that on Coruscant. Everything is blindingly sharp and in focus. No sense of layers or dimension at all.

 

The Clone Troopers. Wjich are all of them CGI in this film. Yes, they actually look fairly good. But why are they all CGI? In shots when there are hundreds in a frame, or action stuff sure. But in dialogue scenes? Why is the Clone Trooper that comes to Padme's aid after she fell from the speeder CGI? Why NOT have a guy in a suit? Wouldnt it be cheaper? Easier for the actor to actually have a person to interact with in the scene?

 

Because we come now to the acting. It is almost universally awful. In a film that actually needed good actors who could make bad lines work.

Ewan, who does his best bless him is largely wooden and ineffective. McDiarmid is OK, but has almost no presence in this film. Jackson is simply dull and bad. Weird for an actor who's coasted through plenty of roles on his charisma.

Nathalie Portman, who is actually an accomplished actress has zero charisma in this. There's no sense thats she's playing a character with ideas, feelings or intentions. She's good looking, beautiful actually. But in a story that is about a young man becoming blindingly devoted to her character and looses himself in that devotion, she utterly fails.

 

Hayden is...even worse. I have never seen him in anything but Star Wars, so I dont have a clue if he can actually act.

Most of his lines are awful, and so are his readings of them. He shows a cute crooked smile on occasion, but thats about as far as it goes when it comes to charisma.

We know going in that Anakin will eventually become Darth Vader. And that Lucas intends this as a tragedy. The fall from grace of a good character.

This is very ambitious stuff, which can make for riveting viewing. If it's done right (Breaking Bad proves this).

Does anyone watching actually like Anakin in this film? Does anyone care about him? Consider rooting for him in his pursuit for love, the search for his mom?

For this fall from grace to even remotely work, we should care about him even though we know what will happen. And that never happens.

It's a curious mixture of badly written, badly delivered lines. A plot that makes little sense and switches gear without any consideration fro drama or logic.

The film starts out with Anakin being all about trying to protect Padme, then it moves into the courtship stuff with some stunningly cringe-worthy dialogue, then suddenly and without any reason then pure plot necessity it's all about Ani finding his mom, and becoming a mass murderer. But there's little time to dwell on the consequences of that because Obi-Wan needs rescuing on Geonosis, so the film completely drops that and moves forward.

 

There isnt a singly level on which the character of Anakin Skywalker works. Not as a hero who will eventually fall from grace. Not as a tragic figure who sees his mum die a minute after he finds her again (that scene is so awful, the way Pernille Augusts head falls back as her character died is actually hilarious).

With a creepy stalker way of leering at Padme, and dialogue that makes him sound like a rapists who needs to deflect blame. ("I am haunted by the kiss, that you should never have given me" is the equivalent of "If she didnt want to be fucked she should not have worn that short skirt")

 

Like with The Phantom Menace, throughout most of it I swiften from either being annoyed or bored by it. Till the last part. The big battle stuff.

Oh yes it's awful. The staging is amateurish. Every shot seems so filled with stuff that there's never any sense of whats going on. And it looks completely fake.

Maybe it's because my mind knew the worst part was over (the love and tragedy stuff) and it would just be hollow action from here. But I ended up kinda enjoying it. In a piss-take way. It's all so silly that it becomes genuinely amusing.

 

Yoda versus Dooku was the highlight. A green CGI midget against a 80+ year old man, duking it out in fights so fast you can['t even register them really. Brilliantly shit!

Like Sharknado on a 100 million dollar budget.

 

This is probably just a defense mechanism though. Because in reality it isnt funny.

George Lucas isnt just a bad director. He is an awful film maker. On every level. He's surrounded by a good cast and the finest technical people money can buy, and like a Death-eater, he sucks everything out of them. Film is a collaborative process. But in a movie like this, driven by the single mind of one person, the blame cannot lie anywhere else.

 

Like with TPM John Williams survives this mess better then anyone else.

But even he cannot help but be hampered with a burden. Across The Stars is a really wonderful epic piece. But it's a lovetheme for Adolf Hitler and Eva Braun.

Like Episode One Williams spends much of the film scoring ideas rather then characters. Action and movement rather then content. (there's no reason for the angelic choir in the Youngling scene apart to company the visual of the star map)

It's a very solid and effective score, especially if you consider it was a very busy year. I actually love the album.

In the movie it's often mixed very low and once the big action stuff sets in it's mostly repurposed music from The Phantom Menace. (talk about amateur film making)

Like The Phantom Menace the score it falls short if compared to the Original Trilogy. But there's no way in hell he could have done anything better.

 

 

 

 

 

 

[Unlucky Bastard 7,782]

2 minutes ago, Stefancos said:

The Coruscant chase is set in a background that is obviously inspired by Blade Runner. But that film used smoke, camera angles, diffusion, lightning to create a world thick with atmosphere. There is nothing like that on Coruscant. Everything is blindingly sharp and in focus. No sense of layers or dimension at all.

 

This is one of the best explanations as to why so many CGI effects films from this era were so unconvincing. Everything in the frame was in focus, resulting in flat looking images. It was as if these computer effects artists had no idea about photographics and how lenses work. Or was it a conscious act of defiance against the laws of optics just because they could?

 

On the other hand, about nine years later I was really impressed by the effects in Thor, how the shallow depth of field was handled wonderfully, even in simulated CGI environments, helping them to trick the eye to think that they're authentic.

[publicist 4,643]

15 minutes ago, Stefancos said:

There isnt a singly level on which the character of Anakin Skywalker works. Not as a hero who will eventually fall from grace.

 

I said since minute one, dramatically it would have made much more sense that he's more Damien from THE OMEN. Because, if you think about it, the prequels are Obi-Wan's story, or at least he's the one character through whose arc Episode IV is set in motion.

 

So it would have been a brilliant stroke of drama, that moral dilemma the Jedi are in: to train the most powerful of them all, knowing he may be a corrupted being that finally turns against them.

 

[BloodBoal 7,538]

27 minutes ago, Stefancos said:

Like with TPM John Williams survives this mess better then anyone else.

 

Not really.

[#SnowyVernalSpringsEternal 10,265]

No?

[BloodBoal 7,538]

28 minutes ago, Stefancos said:

Like The Phantom Menace the score it falls short if compared to the Original Trilogy. But there's no way in hell he could have done anything better.

 

Actually, he could have, but he simply didn't.

[#SnowyVernalSpringsEternal 10,265]

I don't think so. Not considering what he had to work with.

[publicist 4,643]

The moody 'Vertigo' music for the ocean planet alone is enough to make it worthwile. Apart from some overjerky action music i don't find that much at fault with the rest, either.

[BloodBoal 7,538]

[publicist 4,643]

Lardass.

[#SnowyVernalSpringsEternal 10,265]

Jerry scored his fair share of bad films, and usually managed to find the heart of them despite how poorly they were made.

 

But did he ever score a film with such a confusing morality? With such a lack of heart? 

[BloodBoal 7,538]

[publicist 4,643]

And US Marshals is a better score why?

[BloodBoal 7,538]

Don't change the subject! We were talking about the movies, not the scores!

[#SnowyVernalSpringsEternal 10,265]

4 minutes ago, publicist said:

And US Marshals is a better score why?

 

Exactly my point!

 

 

[BloodBoal 7,538]

[#SnowyVernalSpringsEternal 10,265]

Wash your filthy mouth!

[#SnowyVernalSpringsEternal 10,265]

Star Wars: Episode III - Revenge Of The Sith

 

If one is to watch this film, which i would not recommend, its probably best to do it straight after AOTC, because it's better, if only a bit.

 

The assignment of story ideas for this trilogy has always been lopsided. To get to the OT, a bunch of things have to happen, and most of then happen in the last one.

 

-We need to see Anakin being seduced to the Dark Side by Palpatine

 

-We need to see the final duel between Anakin and Obi-Wan

 

-We need to the birth and distribution of the Skywalker kids

 

-We need to see Anakin become Darth Vader

 

-We need to see the end of all of the Jedi, save two.

 

-We need to see Palpatine revealed as The Emperor

 

All of these things can be seen in ROTS. All of these were highly awaited by fans. And all of these fail in one way or another.

 

The seduction actually starts out reasonably well. The dialogue may be too obvious and hamfisted but McDiarmid is very effective here. But the actual scene where Anakin turns to the Dark Side, as he kills Mace Windu and swears loyalty to Palpatine is seriously botched. Shockingly filmed, with awful acting from Jackson, McDiarming and Hayden. The moment which should have been the "Ozymandeas" is completely ineffective.

 

Anakin becomes Vader...twice in this film. When Palpatine names him such, and when he actually puts on the suit.

It's actually ackward to have Anakin adressed as Vader throughout the film, because the two characters seem completely opposite. The Prequels never once convinced me that this arrogrant, dumb, petulant hot headed boy is the same character as Darth Vader from the Original trilogy.

 

The slaughter of the Jedi consists of endless scenes of Clone Troopers killing Jedi with John Williams' mournful laments playing. We never got to know any of them. So there's no emotional resonance (other then the discomfort at the scene where Anakin is about to kill children....)

 

The final duel between Anakin and Obi-Wan. I'll be charitable and say that is starts of with some promise. But it soon descends into an orgy of super fast light saber actions in a background that is in no way believable. Lucas obviously wanted this to de the epic, defining moment. But you do not create something epic by having it take place amongst a world of colliding lava.

The duel is more silly then exciting, and ends abruptly. When Obi-Wan obtains the higher ground, hacks of Anakin's legs and leaves him to burn (but not after picking up the lightsaber he needs to give to Luke in 20 years time...)

 

And then the moment that was going to rule regardless of how terrible everything else was. The reveal of Darth Vader. And it's awful, simply awful.

The dialogue doesnt work, the camera angles are ill-chosen, even James Earl Jones sounds off. This was a scene which would have been really easy to do and it awful!

 

If there is any enjoyment to be had it's in between these points.

Since this is the film where everything important happens it isnt as dull as the previous two.

Ewan McGregor is better in this one then the other two. Sometimes his ackwards dialogue with Hayden, in an attempt to suggest a bond between the two characters is bad.

McDiarmid is fun too watch up until the moment he transforms. Then he hams it up too much and it becomes ineffective. I genuinely believe he figured out there wasnt anyone there to modulate the performances so he just started taking the piss.

 

Hayden is slightly less awful then AOTC, but that actually doesnt mean much. There's no character there of interest. So there's no reason to take any real interest in his "tragedy". He falls to the Dark Side because it's inevitable. But there is no sense of occasion or drama to it. Just another box to tick off.

Portman is dull...period

 

Oh another big moment that is done without any effect. The scene where Obi-Wan finds out what Anakin has done! No emotion devoted to the scene at all. Just perfunctory viewing of a video. And Yoda is a real dick in this scene.

 

In terms of scale this is the biggest Star Wars film ever. In terms of story, in terms of scope. Parts of it look visually impressive. the CGI looks slightly better then in AOTC. And slightly less sterile.

But oh lord is it messy, visually. TPM had rather good art design. This is just chaotic. Loads of ship dsesigns, buildings etc, none of them stand out.

There's actually a jarring moment when there are scenes that take place in the blockade runner from Star Wars (1977). The minimalist stark white interior is a complete visual opposite of almost anything in the film.

 

The score!

 

This one actually works better in the film for me then it does on CD. John Wiliams really throws in everything but the kitchen sink. And when it's mixed loudly enough in the film it really works. Full of marches, fanfares, elegies, laments loads of patina, bells and whistles and flourishes. Nothing much in the way of actual depth. But that's actually OK.

Once again he's scoring a selection of concepts rather then any actual tragedy or event, but does so with enormous gusto and energy. His work for the Prequels is above and beyond the call of duty. Considering what and who he had to work with...

 

So it is done.

I had not seen any of these for over 10 years. There is no need for me to see them for the next 10. There are currently 4 other star Wars movies. all of them far better, 3 of them really excellent.

 

George Lucas almost killed Star Wars with this crap....almost.

 

 

 

 

 

[Unlucky Bastard 7,782]

So an entrepreneurial, independent filmmaker tortured and almost killed his own creation with his amateurish directoral skills, while kidding himself to this day that his results are superior to anything else. And his fanatical sycophants continue to perpetuate the myth that his is the only way.

 

But a global entertainment conglomerate with a reputation for being more concerned with excessively commercialising its properties and targeting very juvenile markets, ironically resurrects it, patches it up, and essentially does everything right.

 

Fancy that.

[Koray Savas 2,251]

The other day I did a double feature of In Bruges and Seven Psychopaths with my friends. We drank every time they said "fuck" and "psychopath," respectively.

[Unlucky Bastard 7,782]

Fifty Shades of Grey

 

I didn't mind this. Good for a laugh. I liked the anamorphic bokeh ovals in the background. And the other great part was that this movie has a significant one up on modern action blockbusters because it uses real helicopters! I can't stand CGI helicopters in movies these days.

[#SnowyVernalSpringsEternal 10,265]

Ooookay.

[Mr. Breathmask 555]

I love making fun of Fifty Shades of Grey. Good Lord. It's the most boring story about eroticism ever and a staple of modern nothing-happens-until-the-end-oh-wait-it's-the-credits-see-you-for-the-sequel-fuck-you filmmaking. If only it didn't take itself so damn serious.

[#SnowyVernalSpringsEternal 10,265]

Its like Twilight to me, or Kim Kardassian. Something that seems to exist. But plays no role in my life. 

[Unlucky Bastard 7,782]

Ohh I love the strappy bits.

[Mr. Breathmask 555]

5 minutes ago, Stefancos said:

Its like Twilight to me, or Kim Kardassian. Something that seems to exist. But plays no role in my life. 

 

It seems mostely forgotten by now and it only came out less than a year ago. Can you believe that?

 

Are they even still working on a sequel?

 

Yawn.

[#SnowyVernalSpringsEternal 10,265]

There will be a reboot oneday!

[A24 4,331]

For a moment I thought you guys were talking about Prometheus.

[Dixon Hill 4,234]

I have Titanic on while I do stuff around the house.  I keep getting distracted by it though, by the music.  I'm just standing in front of the TV now listening and it's really hitting me hard.  We miss you James.  

[#SnowyVernalSpringsEternal 10,265]

Beautiful score!

[Dixon Hill 4,234]

It's dripping with the "sound of (late 20th century) Hollywood."  Maybe it's the seminal example of it.  Horner excelled at that, in fact he's one of the few composers I get that feeling from. I'm sure that's because he was one of my earliest exposures to film music.  His music defines that idea of Hollywood magic and "the movies". For some I guess it's schmaltz but not for me.  Just a symptom of being an 80s/early 90s kid who loved movies?

[Gruesome Son of a Bitch 6,488]

Titanic is great!

[Unlucky Bastard 7,782]

Twilight was a better love story.

[#SnowyVernalSpringsEternal 10,265]

Fuck off!

[Unlucky Bastard 7,782]

[#SnowyVernalSpringsEternal 10,265]

Now there's a fuckface!

[A24 4,331]

If Drax likes them, you must like them too, Steef. I'd say, give the franchise a chance.

[Unlucky Bastard 7,782]

What's that you left all over him?

[#SnowyVernalSpringsEternal 10,265]

10 minutes ago, Alexcremers said:

If Drax likes them, you must like them too, Steef. I'd say, give the franchise a chance.

 

Not really. I'm no fan of Godzilla, Stargate or Xena.

 

Drax has very different taste then me.

[A24 4,331]

How different can it be when 'Star Trek is better than everything' is the philosophy of the both of you. Then there Buffy The Vampire Slayer, The Bold And The Beautiful, ...

 

I say you are brothers!

[#SnowyVernalSpringsEternal 10,265]

The Bold and the Beautiful?

 

I don't watch that.