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mstrox

the mstrox thread

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goodbye mstrox, u were great but now u r old as sin.  ui will diminish into the west. u will become dirt, but not the good kind of dirt that helps plants grow, its the bad kind of dirt that is real dry and dusty and blows across arid lands, gettin in peoples mouthes and eyes and serving no functional purpose otherwise.  u created 118 pages of premium content, but we feel we hardly knew ye.  good bye mike, u r an ancient pile of bones now, good day

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i have to admit that maybe it was wishful thinking or a particularly lumpy week, but most days this week have felt like friday.  good news, tho, its actually here and its not a fake.  friday is the place to be.  anything going on this weekend?  anyone else taking monday off and binging movies in support of the troops?

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image.jpg

Too soon! Local stations say 25cm total expected. It hasn't stopped since 8:00 this morning and will go late into tomorrow. My daily routine sees me walking outside quite a bit, and I have to say that the blowing snow HURTS!

 

🇨🇦

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proud to say that mikeflix will have both the theatrical and unrated versions of brian de palma's dressed to kill - but will only - only - only - have the longer kermit version of emmett otters jugband christmas.  even streaming services can have standards

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1 hour ago, Naïve Old Fart said:

I'm setting up my own streaming site: Dickflix.

 

im not going to search for it on this computer, but im 90% certain that this would already exist

 

58 minutes ago, The Illustrious Jerry said:

positive energy is essential. :)

 

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

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Ok...this is going to be a hard one, but I'll do my best.

Recent months have not been good to me. I recently started a job (yea, me!), but it's part-time (no, I'm not a college professor), and I've been struggling, financially, despite being frugal.

Friends and other associates have been very kind in either offering to help, or in actually helping me, to make ends meet, through much appreciated gifts of money. Still, I find that I am, slowly but surely, going under. Things have come to a head, this weekend, with me needing to spend a lot of money on car repairs, and an electricity bill.

Since I don't have the available cash, it's been put on my credit card, and, with one thing and another, the amount that I owe has trebled, since I moved here.

A trip to my local Citizens Advice Bureau has helped, and I have applied for Universal Credit (Welfare), which will, hopefully, alleviate things. Still, I feel utterly dejected. Despite my best efforts, I have not been able to secure a full-time job, and I am beginning to despair.

Here's the hard bit, because it entails being very intimate. I'm not proud to admit this, but I'm seriously considering ending my life. I don't want to, but sometimes I just can't see a way out of my situation. The alternative is to declare bankruptcy, and move back to the mainland (probably into a homeless shelter), and begin again. I don't want to do this, because I truly want to live where I am. I can't see much hope, though.

The coming months will be tough, and with no immediate prospect of full-time work, I can already feel the pressure getting heavier and heavier.

I just do not know what to do.

Why am I telling the good folks of JWfan this, and not friends? Well, sometimes it helps to tell someone who is "removed" from the situation - a doctor, a counselor - someone who can just listen. In my experience, family and friends have their own hangups, and, because most of my friends have families themselves, I feel that they don't want to hear about my troubles. I could be totally wrong about this, but I tried to tell some friends where I live, about how I'm feeling, but they were too self-absorbed in their own thing, that I decided not to.

Reading this back before I post, I have a lump in my throat, and tears in my eyes. I'm not looking for sympathy. I'm just needing somewhere to offload onto...and guess who drew the short straw?

I'll let you know how things progress, but for the moment I'll say: "Thanks for listening, JWfan, you've been a great help".

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@Naïve Old Fart, Richard, mate, stay strong.  These matters are tough, they may bend you, but do hang in there and don't let 'em break you.  You can and will get through this shadow over your life.  It helps to have something to keep looking forward to, and, even if nothing else, you seem to be in a geographic place that brings you some happiness, so relish every moment and keep anticipating more moments to relish.  Don't be afraid to reach out for a helping hand to bring you back on your feet.  It could be friends that could help you land a job, or maybe you could reach out to an area church that might help you get back on track, mind, body and soul.  Don't despair, there is always some hope to grasp onto.

As someone who has wandered a bit into these shadows of the mind before, I want to let you know I'm pulling for you on my end with prayers and these positive thoughts.  

Bon courage.

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 Look, Richard. Those 5 pounds you owe me. Its fine. Leave it!

 

All joking aside, get help!

 

Ive been in an awful place for about a year now, ive sought help in the summer, and right now i'm more frustrated by it than anything. (Bloody waiting lists! All Thatcher's fault!)

Basically any form of treatment is on hold because they want to test me first, but that probably won't be till sometime next year. 

 

I've considered just walking away from it, but that would leave me with nothing. And no hope of it getting better.

 

Get help Richard! You don't wanna chuck it in now you finally figured out how you changed your screen name!

 

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15 hours ago, Stefancos said:

 Look, Richard. Those 5 pounds you owe me. Its fine. Leave it!

Fuck that shit! I fully intend on paying you back...with interest.

 

15 hours ago, Stefancos said:

Richard! You don't wanna chuck it in now you finally figured out how you changed your screen name!

 

Fuck you! :lol:

 

 

12 hours ago, Gruesome Son of a Bitch said:

Mental health issues? Just get over it! Suck it up!

As a mental health nurse, I can honestly say...that's a crock. I know you don't mean it.

 

 

 Ok, so here's the juice. I'm still here, as y'all can see. I've been feeling a lot better, in myself, over the last couple of days. It's interesting how telling someone how you feel, can, in itself, help. Nothing has changed; I still owe, and I'm still piss poor, but I've got two things I didn't have on Sunday: hope, and determination. I've just completed an application form, which I shall mail, tomorrow, and I have two more jobs to apply for. More jobs come online almost daily, so I'm optimistic.

On a (very) personal note; thank you, thank you, thank you all, for responding to my post with honesty, kindness, support, and optimism. Reading all your posts has brought (back) warm feelings to my heart.

I guess Sybok is right: you do gain strength from the sharing.

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