Guest Posted April 15, 2003 Share Posted April 15, 2003 Clangs of steel bars resound in the Baltimore hospital for the musically insane. (Cue Howard Shores Dungeon music from Silence of the Lambs). George Lucas walks down the dark hallway towards Williams cell after heeding the warning to stay away from the glass at all times. A disgusting character leaps at the bars from another cell hissing words in German. Lucas looks stunned and intimidated but carries on defiantly amongst the groaning in the corridor. He comes to the final cell near the stairwell. The bald head of Dr Williams the infamous composer lying on his bunk in small dungeon cell, wearing an all black boiler suit with a turtle kneck. A deep breath is heard as Williams takes in the presence of Lucas and begins to speak in a sedate tone..Dr Williams : ?That?s the same atrocious cologne you wore at the AOTC premiere?Lucas : ?Yes. It was a present from Steven?Dr Williams : ?Ah yes..Mr Spielberg??Gruesome is?nt he. He fumbles at ya head like a freshman pulling at a panty girdle?Lucas : ?He let me listen to your ?Catch me if you can? score?.Dr Williams : (smiles wryly) ?And??Lucas : ?Very interesting. Even to a superb director like me?Dr Williams : ?You?re very tanned George. And your hands are soft. Not like a directors hands anymore. And how is the young Jake Lloyd and the lovely Natalie Portman?. They?re always in my thoughts you know?Lucas : (Looks embaressed) Dr Williams : ?Tell me??.What did Zimmer say??ZANY ZIMMER in the next cell. He?.hissed at you?.what did he saaaay??? (his eyes staring directly at George, with a grin.Lucas : ?He ?he said??I can smell your beard? (looks flustered)Dr Williams : ?Ah??Hmmm?I myself cannot? (he lifts his nose to the ventilation in the glass. Breathing in the surroundings) ?You once were a good director? (sniffs more) ?And you once made great Star Wars films? (sniffs more, then lowers his head to glare with wide eyes into the eyes of George ?But not thesedays? (Johnnys grins in a twisted and evil way).Lucas : (pause) ?I need your help on this movie Johnny?Dr Williams : ?If you recall George. Our last Star Wars collaboration ended rather?mesillyyyyy.?Lucas : ?You get to see the script for Star Wars III?.Oh, and there is another reason??Dr Williams : (steps forward to the glass and his eyes flare ?I?m all earrrsss?Lucas : ?I thought you might enjoy the challenge. See if you can match your first 3 SW scores?Dr Williams ?Then by implication, you think you know more about scores than me. Since you?re the one who cut my Phantom Menace and Attack of the Clones score to pieces?Lucas : ?No, I know I don?t as much about music as you?Dr Williams : ?Then why DID you hire me?? (wild eyes trying to intimidate George)Lucas : ?You had?.disadvantages?Dr Williams : ?What disadvantages?? (looks curious)Lucas : ?You?re a sucker for the fame associated with Star Wars?(long pause)Dr Williams : (Smiles silently and winks)(pause as Johnny silently checks George out)Dr Williams : ?You will not persuade me with appeals to my Star Wars vanity George?Lucas : ?I don?t think I?ll persuade you at all. You?ll either do it or you wont?(pause while Williams considers)Dr Williams : ?Is that the script?? (points to the portfolio in Georges lap)Lucas : "Yes"Dr Williams ?With Photos??let me keep them and I might consider it?Lucas : ?No?Dr Wiliams : ?You don?t make things easy do you George?(pause of silence)Dr Williams : ?Do you dream much George??Lucas : ?Goodbye Dr Johnny? (George gets up and begins to walk away.Dr Williams : (raises voice as Lucas walks off) ?You have?nt threatened to take away my toy Star Wars figures yet!?.GIVE me the script theeeeen?.and I?ll tell ya what I think?Lucas : (Sighs and returns to the cell) ?I'm only asking you to look at this,Dr Williams. Either you will or you won't?.Dr Williams : ?20th Century Fox must be very busy indeed if they?re recruiting directors from the student body. Concerned about all these Ultimate Edition scores are they??. Do you know why they?re called ULTIMATE editions George?please tell?the newspapers won't say?.Lucas : ?It excites score fans. Most score fans like to have at least one entire score on disc?.Dr Williams : ?I don?t like releasing any?Lucas : ?No?no?..you make suites of yours?Dr Williams : ?Send that script through now?George hands him the script through the food tray. Leaning against the wall, he turns a page or two while turning to wink at George, before turning to look at George.Dr Williams : ?Oh, George?do you think you can dissect me with this awfull storyline??Lucas : (looking genuinely surprised) ?No.. I only hoped that your knowledge..?Suddenly he whips the tray back at George,with a metallic CLANG that makes him tremble. Dr Williams : ?You're sooo ambitious, aren't you George. You know what you look like to me, with your fancy beard and your designer haircut?. You look like a film student. A well-scrubbed, hustling film student with a little taste... Good nutrition has given you some length of bone, but you're not more than one generation from poor amateur filmmaker, are you Mr Lucas?. And that monotonous nasal drone of an accent you?ve tried so desperately to shed ? pure boredom. Was your father a politician George??a tax maaaaaaan?. Did he stink of the stamp pad.? And oh, how quickly the fans found you. All those tedious, sticky fumblings with CGI, in the Star Wars Prequels, while you could only dream of making it big again?.Regaining your Star Wars glory?Making lots of moneeeeeeeyy? (Williams eyes bug out fiercely at Lucas)Lucas : ?You see a lot, Dr Williams. But are you strong enough to point that high-powered perception at yourself? How about it...? Look at yourself and write down the truth about why you?re recent scores don?t match the magic you composed in the 70?s and 80?s. Or maybe you're afraid to?.(Pause of silence)Dr Williams : ?A director once tried to test me. I gave him Close Encounters. With a stirring mountain cue?and a niiice finaleeee" (his teeth showing) "sfsfsfsfsfsf?Lucas : (Holds a hand to his agape mouth. Eyes wide in terror)Dr Williams : ?Fly back to directors school now,little George..Fly fly fly?fly fly fly.?Lucas : ?But will you score my new movie??Dr Williams : (silence)Lucas storms off down the corridor but passes Zimmer?s cell.The sound of Holsts Mars movement from the Planets plays from the dark dungeon. Zimmer : ?Uh?uh?.i play this all the tiiiiime?.Listen to it. It?s like Barbarian Hoooooorde?.He throws a copy of ?More music from Gladiator? at the face of Lucas.Horrified!! Lucas panics and begins to run srambling down to the exit.From behind her, Dr Williams calls out, very agitated.Dr Williams : ?Mr Lucas?.MR LUCAAAAAAS?Lucas stops and shudders. His breathing panting in panic and runs back to Williams Cell.Dr Williams : (shivering with rage) ?I would not have had that happen to you. Discourtesy is - unspeakably ugly to me.?Lucas : ?Then please - do this score for me.?Dr Williams : ?No. But I will make you happy... I'll recommend how you can hit the bigtime in your new Star Wars movie. The thing you love the most, Mr Lucas.?Lucas : ?What's that, Dr Williams?? (in desperation)Dr Williams : ?James Horner and Celine Dion? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lurker 5 Posted April 15, 2003 Share Posted April 15, 2003 Brilliant!I can only guess that this unsigned post was written by none other than our very own Melange.Neil Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ren 75 Posted April 15, 2003 Share Posted April 15, 2003 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ren 75 Posted April 15, 2003 Share Posted April 15, 2003 Dr Williams : ?20th Century Fox must be very busy indeed if they?re recruiting directors from the student body. Concerned about all these Ultimate Edition scores are they??. Do you know why they?re called ULTIMATE editions George?please tell?the newspapers won't say?. Lucas : ?It excites score fans. Most score fans like to have at least one entire score on disc?. Dr Williams : ?I don?t like releasing any? Lucas : ?No?no?..you make suites of yoursLOL Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted April 15, 2003 Share Posted April 15, 2003 Dr Williams : ?James Horner and Celine Dion? Mr. Lucas, eat your heart out.Heir_of_Slytherin Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wojo 2,453 Posted April 15, 2003 Share Posted April 15, 2003 Well done!The timing could not be better, especially with the episode of South Park from two weeks ago "Toilet Paper" cleverly parodying "Silence of the Lambs" as well. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NeejaHalycon 0 Posted April 15, 2003 Share Posted April 15, 2003 Bravo! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Magnus 0 Posted April 15, 2003 Share Posted April 15, 2003 lol, I needed this laugh Great work! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted April 15, 2003 Share Posted April 15, 2003 Truth or parody...hmmm.....difficult to see it sometimes is.Brilliant!!!Alexcremers Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted April 15, 2003 Share Posted April 15, 2003 Very good indeed. Who wrote this take off?tharpdevenport - Who can't stay logged in so doesn't bother anymore. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Melange 446 Posted April 15, 2003 Share Posted April 15, 2003 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Elmo Lewis 6 Posted April 15, 2003 Share Posted April 15, 2003 I bet we'll be hearing the sequel of this in May 2005.Personally? I can't wait for it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Justin 2 Posted April 15, 2003 Share Posted April 15, 2003 LOL Nice job Melange! (if indeed you did this.)Justin -sfsfsfsfsfsfssss.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted April 16, 2003 Share Posted April 16, 2003 I bet we'll be hearing the sequel of this in May 2005. Personally? I can't wait for it.I'm waiting for it too, unless he replaces John Williams with a CGI character and destroys the score...Heir_of_Slytherin Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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