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Ewoke Movies Coming to Disney Plus


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Just as I was about to cancel my useless subscription, these classic teddy bear Films, Movies if you will, shall soon be Content available to stream on the Wokest of Streaming Services.

 

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But I can't help but think...what will be changed? Clearly, these movies are now Problematic. They're products of the White Patriarchy and portray women as weak and always needing to be saved by male teddy bears and Wilford Brimley. The second movie also opens with the entire family being killed, which is far too disturbing for coddled modern audiences who enjoy incestual porn on the internet and live with their parents until they're 40, having become full fledged members of Antifa and aspiring to one day become a manager at Starbucks. It even has Ewoks in cages, evoking memories of slavery. Clearly, these need a content warning.

 

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Also, what are you drinking tonight?

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"Ewoke"....that's clever.

 

I have a soft spot for these movies, in all their silliness. If memory serves, they were screened on Norwegian TV2 in the 90s - either as matinees or late-night viewing.

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You think it's doubtful than I've seen more movies than Justin has?

 

I'm building my Letterboxd page, I'll share it when it's done


I've seen at least 2,000 different movies for sure

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Apparently the cartoon segment from the Star Wars Holiday Special (with the first screen appearance of Boba Fett) is also coming to D+... just not the rest of it! 

 

But that means the master copy of the Holiday Special still exists somewhere... and they're just refusing to release it. Poor Bea Arthur and her Cantina songs. 

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18 minutes ago, crumbs said:

But that means the master copy of the Holiday Special still exists somewhere... and they're just refusing to release it. Poor Bea Arthur and her Cantina songs. 

 

It was a different master I think, they just inserted it into the special originally and chopped it in half. The cartoon was released in HD on the 2011 Blu-ray set, so that at least was restorable. Whether the rest of the special still exists or is in decent shape I have no idea.

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1 hour ago, The Big Man said:

 

Doubtful!

 

Don't forget, Jay is a genuine couch potato. Every evening he watches a TV series or two and a movie. I only watch one episode in the evening and a movie when it's the weekend. 

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6 minutes ago, Naïve Old Fart said:

Both Ewoke movies are bollocks, but, strangely, they are both better than WILLOW.

 

Hey, hey...no need to diss WILLOW. I've always felt that is an underrated film.

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14 hours ago, Gruesome Son of a Bitch said:

Just as I was about to cancel my useless subscription, these classic teddy bear Films, Movies if you will, shall soon be Content available to stream on the Wokest of Streaming Services.

 

qmbc9-Y7CGKEXPJCR-Full-Image_GalleryBackground-en-US-1553643951839._SX1080_.jpeg

 

But I can't help but think...what will be changed? Clearly, these movies are now Problematic. They're products of the White Patriarchy and portray women as weak and always needing to be saved by male teddy bears and Wilford Brimley. The second movie also opens with the entire family being killed, which is far too disturbing for coddled modern audiences who enjoy incestual porn on the internet and live with their parents until they're 40, having become full fledged members of Antifa and aspiring to one day become a manager at Starbucks. It even has Ewoks in cages, evoking memories of slavery. Clearly, these need a content warning.

 

screen-shot-2020-10-15-at-4.57.39-pm.png

 

Also, what are you drinking tonight?

 

Come now. If you're going to lampoon people who care about other people or companies that admit their mistakes, you could at least be clever about it.

 

Disney was actually pretty late to the acknowledging-hurtful-moments-in-older-stories party. Warner Bros. has had content warnings like these on some of their cartoons for years, and rightly so.

 

Anyway, I've never seen most of this more obscure Star Wars stuff, though I've of course heard about it for decades. Might give it a shot once it's up.

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We have Walt Disney Treasures - The Chronological Donald, Volume Two which has a bunch of great WW2 cartoons on it in a special “vault” menu, but if you want to access them you have to play Leonard Maltin for about 4 minutes. You can’t fast forward it!

 

Anyway, Ewoks, delightful movies! Best watched as children (or with children).

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Caravan of Courage and Battle for Endor are two very different movies.  Caravan of Courage is paced a bit like Willow - a leisurely journey across Endor with setpieces here and there.  Battle for Endor is pretty nonstop chase action, except for a brief interlude when they introduce Wilford Brimley.

 

I own all of the 4/2 Disney+ additions on disc, so I’m most interested in Ewok(e)s seasons 1-2, which have not ever been released as such since they aired.

 

I don’t understand restricting what your kid watches just because you don’t like it!  They’re gonna end up their own person, so I let mine watch the Ewok movies and the prequels (minus ROTS, for now - just due to the intensity) and let them make up their own mind.

 

Jason may have seen more movies than Justin, but Justin has definitely seen Independence Day more than Jason.

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44 minutes ago, mstrox said:

I don’t understand restricting what your kid watches just because you don’t like it!  They’re gonna end up their own person, so I let mine watch the Ewok movies and the prequels (minus ROTS, for now - just due to the intensity) and let them make up their own mind.

 

 

 

Be careful, you are what you watch.

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It’s going to be really funny when these do eventually release and they’re completely unaltered.

 

Disney aren’t ‘woke’, they just pay lip service to the idea of it so they attract that audience. Modifying an obscure kid’s film from the 80s is far more effort than that lip service warrants

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Look, I was drunk when I posted this. I don't really think they'll alter the Ewok movies or slap a disclaimer or Leonard Maltin introduction in front. 

 

2 hours ago, DarthDementous said:

Disney aren’t ‘woke’, they just pay lip service to the idea of it so they attract that audience. 

 

Yes, they certainly know how to play to their audience and that includes China, where they don't bother with any of the Woke Disney.

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20 hours ago, Disco Stu said:

I've never seen Caravan of Courage.


It’s basically a dry-run for Willow.
 

Curiously enough, “Caravan of Courage” is an exercise in George Lucas rewriting history a-la A New Hope. Originally, it was just “An Ewok Adventure”...

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11 hours ago, Gruesome Son of a Bitch said:

Look, I was drunk when I posted this. I don't really think they'll alter the Ewok movies or slap a disclaimer or Leonard Maltin introduction in front. 

 

 

Yes, they certainly know how to play to their audience and that includes China, where they don't bother with any of the Woke Disney.

Haha, fair enough

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