Your personal top 5 worst Spielberg Films

[Jurassic Shark 12,024]

17 minutes ago, GerateWohl said:

Right in some way. In the other hand the movie has scenes which I would consider top dark and scary for children under 7. And that is the issue with the movie. Still I like it for what it is.

 

You could say the same about most Disney movies.

[GerateWohl 4,326]

16 minutes ago, Jurassic Shark said:

You could say the same about most Disney movies.

But the mixture of cannibal giants nightmares and kiddie fart jokes is extreme even for Disney measures.

[Jurassic Shark 12,024]

Fart jokes are universal. 

[Sweeping Strings 2,344]

I'm sure they've been in movies by other studios too. 

I thang yew. 

[Chen G. 3,943]

2 hours ago, Schilkeman said:

I’ve always thought of KotCS as a coda to the series. Not a Final Adventure, just a One More Thing.

 

The issue with treating these late-in-the-game entries as code is that a coda is by definition cannot be a separate episode, and certainly cannot concievably be the length of a feature film, when the whole series spans the length of three or four such films.

[Naïve Old Fart 9,493]

4 hours ago, Jurassic Shark said:

Fart jokes are universal. 

I don't know any jokes about me.

[Jurassic Shark 12,024]

1 hour ago, Naïve Old Fart said:

I don't know any jokes about me.

 

You're the personification of such jokes.

[Schilkeman 955]

4 hours ago, Chen G. said:

 

The issue with treating these late-in-the-game entries as code is that a coda is by definition cannot be a separate episode, and certainly cannot concievably be the length of a feature film, when the whole series spans the length of three or four such films.

Beethoven would like a word with you

[Nick1Ø66 4,687]

5 hours ago, Chen G. said:

 

The issue with treating these late-in-the-game entries as code is that a coda is by definition cannot be a separate episode, and certainly cannot concievably be the length of a feature film, when the whole series spans the length of three or four such films.

 

Well, given you think of Lord of the Rings as one film, even though in point fact it's indisputably three (truly, IMDB and the Academy tell me so), I think Coppala should be allowed to call his film what he wishes and people should be free to think of Indy IV as a Coda, no?  

[Chen G. 3,943]

Whatever floats one's boat, I suppose.

 

Actually, come to think of it, I believe Coppola did once say he deemed the first two Godfathers, at least, to be one movie, or am I misremembering?

 

I know Lucas said when he recieved the AFI that its like he's been given it for one movie, because he deems all six Star Wars films to be one film. 

 

Filmmakers can certainly be a piece of work...

[Nick1Ø66 4,687]

 

 

On 1/4/2023 at 5:31 PM, Chen G. said:

I know Lucas said when he recieved the AFI that its like he's been given it for one movie, because he deems all six Star Wars films to be one film.

 

Of course he does! He wrote them all at once don't you know! 

 

[Chen G. 3,943]

22 minutes ago, Nick1Ø66 said:

Of course he does! He wrote them all at once don't you know! 

 

I actually ran into a Lucas apologetic a few days back, who was pretty funny. I showed him one of Lucas' most outrageous interviews, where he suggested he wrote a 200-page script (as one does...), split it into two, reworked each part back to 200-pages (as one does...), split each one into three, reworked those et voila! six scripts for six feature films! I pointed that its not only outrageous, but also inconsistent with what he said elsewhere, that he only wrote one 200-ish page script, and split into just three.

 

He retorted:

 

Quote

Yeah, he does disagree about how many times he divides the script, not sure what's going on there in that one quote. Maybe he's confusing dividing up the story with dividing up the script. Or it's a mistranscription by the journalist, because it contradicts the usual story by George.

 

But I've seen enough interviews where an actor can't even remember filming a TV episode or a musician gets the year that he wrote a song wrong or how it was written to not see anything unusual here.

 

Earlier, he made the argument that the exorbitant page count derives from the fact that he's referring to handwritten drafts, which are longer (even though Lucas' handwritten drafts run shroter than the typewritten ones, but nevermind).

 

[Naïve Old Fart 9,493]

I've always regarded LORD OF THE RINGS as one film split into three parts.

It was conceived, written, designed, and directed as one film. For the sake of practicality, it needed to be released as three separate films, but it is one film.

[Chen G. 3,943]

6 minutes ago, Naïve Old Fart said:

conceived, written, designed, and directed as one film.

 

Also the footage was assembled at the same time, some perliminary cutting took place for all three films simultaenously early on, and the editing schedules for the extended editions overlapped greatly.

[Nick1Ø66 4,687]

I think it's fine to regard it as one film. I like to think of it as one film as well. Though it is, in fact, three films!

 

[Schilkeman 955]

1 hour ago, Chen G. said:

 

I actually ran into a Lucas apologetic a few days back, who was pretty funny.

This checks out. I am also hilarious.

 

a fun drinking game is to watch all the Star Wars commentary tracks and drink each time George says “original intention.” I’ve always wanted to get a shirt with him as the ancient aliens guy, but instead of “aliens” it say “original intentions,” (or “digital technology,” which he says almost as frequently).

 

That said, I love his work (yes, all of it). I have a poster for Radioland Murders on my wall.

 

LotR was only ever split as a book due to post-war paper prices making it un-marketable. It’s one story comprised of six books. The films were split up for the same reason.

[Tallguy 3,361]

13 hours ago, GerateWohl said:

One more word on The Last Crusade. I bet, when the movie first came out nobody in the cinema thought at the end "So, that was it about Indiana Jones". Everyone was looking forward to the next adventure.

 

You'd be wrong about that. This was already kind of "getting the band back together" after five years. And riding off into the sunset was seen as a fitting cap to the end of the films.

[Naïve Old Fart 9,493]

Agreed. If memory serves, ...LAST CRUSADE was designed to be the last Indiana Jones film. The final shot was deliberate.

[A24 4,326]

If we and the internet existed 80 years ago, you guys would be constantly talking about Tarzan. 

 

Tarzan is better than everything

 

 

[Chen G. 3,943]

1 hour ago, Naïve Old Fart said:

Agreed. If memory serves, ...LAST CRUSADE was designed to be the last Indiana Jones film. The final shot was deliberate.

 

This is perfectly a propos to the discussion we were just having, but I think its an important point: we can start combing through production materials and interviews to ascertain that Spielberg intended The Last Crusade as one last hurrah - something he's fully admitted to, of course - but ultimately what really matters is how it plays out in the experience of watching it.

 

In watching The Last Crusade, it definitely feels like a farewel. People can be facetious about it, but the fact of the matter is that we intrinsically feel that: its in the closing riding off into the sunset shot, but its also in the fact that the film opens with the beginnings of Indy, precisely so as to close the book on his adventures at the end. Everything in the film, to me at least, screams final entry.

[JTN 2,002]

- Ready Player One

- The BFG

- West Side Story

- Tintin

- The Lost World 

[Sweeping Strings 2,344]

Poor old Ready Player One, lots of dislike for it in this thread. For me, it's huge fun ... Spielberg as the great 'popcorn entertainer' again. I remember being pleasantly surprised to see that he still had that sort of movie in him.  

[Holko 9,499]

I long gave up rankings. From the ones I've seen, the ones I hated were Lost World (completely illogical, all characters are evil and/or braindead etc) and Ready Player One (grandpa trying to be hip and tell the kids to play nice, really ugly and dumb), maybe 1941 too (loud does not equal funny, there are ideas and seeds for a comedy in there but way too much stuff executed not very well, weak timing and stuff like that), and I dislike Hook (just a total mess)and KOCS (ugly boring okayish adventure film, awful Indiana Jones film). Everything else is somewhere on the scale from great to okay/meh.

[Chen G. 3,943]

When I finally watched Ready Player One…it was alright. I expected it to be an absolute disaster.

[Naïve Old Fart 9,493]

I rewatched ...CRYSTAL SKULL, last night.

If this was a dumb-as-fuck National Treasure-type movie, it would have been absolutely brilliant.

The fact is, however, it's not. It's an Indiana Jones film directed by Steven Spielberg (Steven Spielberg!!!), and that is just not good enough.

[Chen G. 3,943]

I know someone who held the same kind of argument against Tintin: “because when a film is directed by Steven Spielberg, and produced by Sir Peter Jackson, and written by Edgar Wright and Steven Moffat, and features Andy Serkis and Daniel Craig, it should be better than The Adventures of Tintin.”

[Tallguy 3,361]

5 hours ago, Naïve Old Fart said:

I rewatched ...CRYSTAL SKULL, last night.

If this was a dumb-as-fuck National Treasure-type movie, it would have been absolutely brilliant.

The fact is, however, it's not. It's an Indiana Jones film directed by Steven Spielberg (Steven Spielberg!!!), and that is just not good enough.

 

Of course I like National Treasure more than Crystal Skull. I suppose we can debate about NT2.

 

4 hours ago, Chen G. said:

I know someone who held the same kind of argument against Tintin: “because when a film is directed by Steven Spielberg, and produced by Sir Peter Jackson, and written by Edgar Wright and Steven Moffat, and features Andy Serkis and Daniel Craig, it should be better than The Adventures of Tintin.”

 

When you put it that way... YES! The idea of giving Steven Spielberg LESS restraint on how he uses the camera seems misguided at best. I had no idea Moffat worked on it.

[Naïve Old Fart 9,493]

23 minutes ago, Tallguy said:

...I like National Treasure more than Crystal Skull. I suppose we can debate about NT2.

Please, @Tallguy, let's not debate NT2.

[Nick1Ø66 4,687]

20 hours ago, Tallguy said:

Of course I like National Treasure more than Crystal Skull

Agreed! It’s a flat out better movie than Crystal Skull.

 

On 2/4/2023 at 9:27 AM, Chen G. said:

I know someone who held the same kind of argument against Tintin: “because when a film is directed by Steven Spielberg, and produced by Sir Peter Jackson, and written by Edgar Wright and Steven Moffat, and features Andy Serkis and Daniel Craig, it should be better than The Adventures of Tintin.”

And they’d be right.

On 2/4/2023 at 4:45 AM, Chen G. said:

When I finally watched Ready Player One…it was alright. I expected it to be an absolute disaster.

Not quite a full blown disaster, but still disappointing and poorly realised. And Spielberg is the last person who should have directed that particular movie. 

[Chen G. 3,943]

I do think there may be an uncomfortable truth to your earlier argument, that being that Spielberg just lost that part of his personality that allowed him to make good adventure yarns.

[mrbellamy 6,272]

There's no way to speak for him about that and I don't think it's fair to say he lost that part of him entirely, but I have always found the way he speaks about doing Jurassic Park and Schindler's List back-to-back really interesting. 

 

 

Just the absolute disdain he had for Jurassic Park during post-production. He says he got over it and appreciates JP now which I do believe, of course, but I feel like spending weeks recreating the Holocaust in Poland while every night forcing yourself back into dumb fun mode, I'm not sure that's a perspective shift you totally get over lol. 

 

There is something a little fake when he really tries for carefree escapism now, even though they're always watchable and he's eternally capable of nifty filmmaking technique. Since 1993 the movies or even sections of movies that feel like he's committing the most are more sad and world-weary tonally, both the popcorn and the Oscar bait. But then again, I think that's an important flavor in Jaws, CE3K, Raiders, and ET as well. But it's like he started needing an extra dose to believe in it. 

[Chen G. 3,943]

I think in Spielberg we have the extraordinary example where the artist doesn't change the art, but rather the art changes the artist: he deals with things through making movies, and as such some of his movies just leave him a changed man. ET made him want to have kids (so he says) and then, I think a good case can be made that Schindler's List made him kind of lose his bearing with adventure movies.

[A24 4,326]

2 hours ago, Chen G. said:

 I think a good case can be made that Schindler's List made him kind of lose his bearing with adventure movies.

 

I think Spielberg should spend his remaining days with making Fabelmans movies. 

 

The Fabelmans 2: The TV Years

 

The Fabelmans 3: The Wunderkind Years

 

...

[Naïve Old Fart 9,493]

THE FABELMANS 4 THE SERIOUS YEARS 

 

THE FABELMANS 5 THE SHIT YEARS 

 

THE FABELMANS 6 THE NETFLIX YEARS

 

 

 

 

[A24 4,326]

3 minutes ago, Naïve Old Fart said:

 

THE FABELMANS 6 THE NETFLIX YEARS

 

 

Right now that is still science fiction.

[Naïve Old Fart 9,493]

As Spielberg himself once said: "It's science eventuality".

[Jurassic Shark 12,024]

5 hours ago, Chen G. said:

I think a good case can be made that Schindler's List made him kind of lose his bearing with adventure movies.

 

Schindler's List made him want to have a better composer.

[JTN 2,002]

It was John Williams who told Spielberg that he needed a better composer, after having watched the film.  

[A24 4,326]

5 hours ago, AC1 said:

 

 

The Fabelmans 2: The TV Years

 

 

 

Pedro Pascal plays Dennis Weaver.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

[Jurassic Shark 12,024]

1 hour ago, JTW said:

It was John Williams who told Spielberg that he needed a better composer, after having watched the film.  

 

And then Spielberg replied "I know".

[Naïve Old Fart 9,493]

3 hours ago, JTW said:

It was John Williams who told Spielberg that he needed a better composer, after having watched the film.  

 

2 hours ago, Jurassic Shark said:

 

And then Spielberg replied "I know".

...but Jerry, John Barry, and Ennio are all busy".

[Tom 4,633]

9 hours ago, Jurassic Shark said:

 

Schindler's List made him want to have a better composer.

That version of events would have ended like this:

 

[JTN 2,002]

On 3/4/2023 at 7:50 PM, Jurassic Shark said:

 

And then Spielberg replied "I know".

“… But they’re all dead.” 

[Schilkeman 955]

A lot of TinTin hate in this thread. I’m watching it right now, and it’s delightful. “Freshwater politicians,” lol

[Brónach 1,301]

While CE3K may be my favourite, I'm not sure what counts as my least favourite, but Crystal Skull for sure would be in the shortlist.

On 02/04/2023 at 10:35 AM, Holko said:

I long gave up rankings. From the ones I've seen, the ones I hated were Lost World (completely illogical, all characters are evil and/or braindead etc)

 

the funniest thing about The Lost World is that removing the creatures from an imaginary biodiversity hotspot is the right thing to do lol