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Who cares? The world will not be at peace until this happens.
:D You're right...what was I thinking?
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...my prince will come.

...my prints will come.

...but not today.

...I will win an Oscar for Best Sterephonic Digital Audio Dubbing in a Foreign Language or else an Emmy for Best Resurrection of the Year.

...I will get banned from this site but not today.

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...I will win an Oscar for Best Sterephonic Digital Audio Dubbing in a Foreign Language or else an Emmy for Best Resurrection of the Year.

"Nuts, they left me out again. Who is this 'Nimoy' person?"


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A fly is buzzing around the nomination luncheon when Clint Eastwood kills it and wipes his hand on Jack Nicholson's shoulder.

Jack: "Well congratulations, Clint. You've just squashed the nominee for Best Supporting Actor."

Robert Mitchum: "Gee, Cher. I wish we had rehearse this."

Cher: "We did, Bob. Ha ha ha."

Mitchum: "Who's Bob?" Ha ha ha"

Cher goes on to announce the nominees when

Cue Sir Lord Laurence Olivier: "Will you beee quieeet! There's people trying to get some sleep...down here"

Best is the scene from THE ALIEN

Sigourney Weaver: "You head up to the upper deck and get killed stupidly. You..head down to the lower deck and get killed even more stupidly."

Grunt: "And what are you gonna do?"

Weaver: "I'm gonna strip down to my underwear"

Grunts: "Oh..ok..."

Grunts get killed: "AAAARRRGGGHHHH"

After reaching the top of the deck,

Alien: "Those darn stairs"

Classic Spitting Image moment preserved for all time. How I miss them.

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(In a briefing room on Earth, Kirk, Scotty, McCoy, and Uhura just walked in)

Kirk: What are we doing here?

McCoy: I'm supposed to be performing brain surgery on the President.

Uhura: I'm supposed to be cheering a seminar at the academy.

Kirk: Your probably the only one glad to be here. Where's Spock.

Scotty: Probably dead again. Who's turn is it for the Katra?

(Kirk slaps Scotty)

Kirk: Death is no laughing matter, Scotty. Now let's get out of here.

(Kirk and company start to leave)

Security officer: Do not leave this meeting until it has been adjourned.

Kirk: I was out saving the galaxy when your grandfather was in diapers. Give me some respect.

Security officer: I'm sorry, old man. SITDOWNNOW!

Kirk: Oh fine.

(Kirk and company sit down)

Spokesperson: Ladies, Gentlemen, scum-

Kirk: You don't have to insult me.

Lady:--Uh.. Stand for the CinC!

(All the people stand in respect of the head honcho)

CinC: 8 years ago, Praxis exploded because the president sent them a box of exploding cigars as a joke. This information is rather out of date since Captain Sulu didn't report it until a couple of days ago in a meeting with the president. I will now give the floor or podium or whatever to the Federation's special envoy.

(Spock starts to walk up to the podium)

Kirk: Spock! Sit down, don't embarrass us like this.

(Kirk grabs Spock)

Spock: Unhand me captain or I will kill you.

Kirk: SPOCK!

Spock: It is a joke. Get it? A story with a humorous climax!

Kirk: Never mind, Spock. I think you've embarrassed us as much as you can.

(Spock walks to the podium)

Spock: 5 minutes ago I opened a dialogue with the Klingon ambassador.

Admiral Cartwright: Negotiations for what?

Spock: Admiral, your getting ahead in the script. The ambassador and I started negotiations.

Admiral Cartwright: Negotiations for what?

Spock: The complete destruction of Earth and the rest of the Solar System.

Admiral #2: Are we talking about mothballing starfleet?

Spock: No, complete annihilation, to be precise.

Cartwright: I have good question. Why?

Spock: Because they want us to be just as hopeless and hapless as they are.

Cartwright: THAT'S WHAT THEY WANT US TO THINK!!!!!!! Now Is Our Chance To Kill Them!!! Kill Kill Kill!

Spock: I told the Klingon ambassador that.

Cartwright: Really? What did he say.

Spock: He used words I am not familiar with. I think they were something close to. You stupid son of a b....

Cartwright: We get the picture. I think this is our chance to bring them to their knees. Kill them. Then we'll be in a far better position to dictate terms.

Spock: They will be dead, Admiral.

Cartwright: That's the kind of terms I want.

Spock: I do not think that is a competent idea. I told the ambassador that we should meet with Gorkon the president of the Klingon Empire. We hope to have a peace treaty signed.

CinC: Captain Kirk, we have chosen you to escort Chancellor Gorkon here. Don't think of killing him like you did the Romulan Ambassador. That was a lucky guess. It wont get you out of court martial this time.

Kirk: I'd..

CinC: Shut up, your going whether you like it or not.

Spock: Do not worry, captain. I informed the Chancellor you're an idiot.

Kirk: Thanks.

CinC: Very well, Kirk. Get ready to leave, this meeting is adjourned. AND REMEMBER it is classified.

(The congregation leaves, only Spock and Kirk remain)

Kirk: We volunteered!???

Spock: That is incorrect, captain, I volunteered you. We did nothing. You are a pawn in this much larger game. You are a nobody nothing, zip, nada...

Kirk: Spock!!

Spock: Sorry, captain. My human side was winning the constant battle over power in my body.

Kirk: Okay! Okay. It's just frustrating, Spock. How would you feel if I volunteered you to something you would hate doing?

Spock: That is irrelevant captian. Resitence is futile.

Kirk: I wanted to resist this mission with every last ounce of my strength. Sometimes I think I'd rather die than....then HELP the klingons.

Spock: Strength is irrelevant, death is irrelevant. You WILL take the mission, captain.

Kirk: It seems I have no choice. Very well. I guess I can squeeze it in my schedule.

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I cant believe he doesnt have a star. Everytime I am over on Hollywood Blvd - i look them over just to be sure. Also missing a star for billy joel, yet ms britney spears has One????? Garbage. (even I like some brit songs)

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