Saxman717 22 Posted July 30, 2003 Share Posted July 30, 2003 Hello!I'm just starting to get into composing orchestral music and my first real crack at it was for the 1st jwfan member composition competition back in May. It was really fun, and was especially challenging given the real time constraints! (It was also finals week for my Junior year of college at Cornell University )I'm hoping to get some feedback on it.......I wrote the whole thing without a keyboard (just putting stuff into Finale2003) and haven't had any real background in music theory in terms of chord development etc. I could use feedback on stuff I did that was good, stuff I did that was not-so-good, and maybe suggestions on things I can work on and music theory techniques I can learn to improve my composing in the future. Here's the link for the midi file:http://jwfan.net/audio/contest/AChanceforVengeance.midThanks for the help! Look forward to hearing your feedback/suggestions/advice -Steve Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Saxman717 22 Posted July 30, 2003 Author Share Posted July 30, 2003 Oh, in terms of midi library playback.......I composed the piece while listening to the Microsoft GS Wavetable SW Synth device. If you don't have this option set, it's under the "Audio" tab in the Sounds area of the control panel of Windows. Select the Microsoft GS Wavetable SW Synth in the "Midi Music Playback" category. If anyone else has a music library that makes it sound better, please let me know and share it with me if you can! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FossMan 1 Posted July 30, 2003 Share Posted July 30, 2003 Okay... now keep in mind this is just my opinion... overall I thought the piece was very good work. But, at least to me, the title doesn't seem to be rflected in the instrumentation of the piece. You seemed to use initiallytrumpet, then flute, clarinet and strings for your melody. I think the "vengeance" theme could be more appropriately be conveyed by doubling the trumpet with trombone at the beginning (allowing the strings and low woodwinds to pick up the moving base line), then transition to horn and trombone echoed with strings. But again, this is my opinion. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Saxman717 22 Posted July 30, 2003 Author Share Posted July 30, 2003 Op, yeah the title of the piece was directed mainly towards the scene it was supposed to be depicting for the competition. In the end, I wrote a piece that didn't really depict the scene and didn't really fit the title. That's probably why it didn't get any votes except my own It's more of a fun action-like piece than a dramatic, tense, brutal piece. There were things like the semi-random timpani hits that represented fighting and the underlying marimba which represented the prison alarm, but it was more symbolic....not too obvious.So if you guys could disregard the title when you listen to it, that'd be cool . I'm really interested in hear feedback on stuff like chords, melody, counterpoint, supporting parts, buildup etc. How effective it was, what stood out in good/bad ways, what I should definitely watch out for in future compositions etc. Thanks for the feedback FossMan! Look forward to more Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted July 31, 2003 Share Posted July 31, 2003 Ok, here's an honest opinion: You suck. You will never, ever, ever in a million years be as good as John Williams. Don't waste your life on trying to be. You don't have it. Find another job. Ocelot (Wael Binali), on the other hand, is very good (as am I), he has skills, and heart. Compare yourself to him, to get some perspective on yourself... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Saxman717 22 Posted July 31, 2003 Author Share Posted July 31, 2003 um......thanks? I was really hoping that if some people thought my composing skills (or lack thereof, it sounds) were that awful, that I could at least get constructive criticism on how I can improve......... :oops: -Steve, who doesn't think that was a nice thing to wake up to and read before taking my shower :cry: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mythos 0 Posted July 31, 2003 Share Posted July 31, 2003 Hi saxman,another honest opinion:your piece sounds alot like one of Rachmaninov's Symphonic Dances!pure coincidence :roll: ? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Saxman717 22 Posted July 31, 2003 Author Share Posted July 31, 2003 hm interesting! Which one? I haven't heard any of those....and yeah, that's interesting 'cause it is definitely coincidence! I had 5 days to write this during finals week and didn't even have a keyboard :cool: I just established an underlying marimba/cello/bass presence and then wrote a quick, simple theme over the top to work with it. I'm curious to know what the Rachmaninoff piece sounds like! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FossMan 1 Posted July 31, 2003 Share Posted July 31, 2003 Okay... more feedback.Now, I am listening to this at work (with the crappy MIDI synth on this crappy sound card) and so have not been able to examine stuff track by track, but here's my take on it:The trumpet line seems rather fast-paced compared to the flute/clarinet line later. It sounds as if would accompny an adventure video game like some of the old Nintendo Final Fantasy games. Now, that's not a criticism (I love the olf video game riffs), just an observation of how video game music is different from, say, modern film music. Film music has more contrast, whereas this piece flows together.I still feel that more low brass in the theme would make the work sound grittier, but that's just a matter of taste.As far as counterpoint goes, there's not much of it going on. I mean, the moving base line against the theme doesn't fit the definition of counterpoint. And as for that moving base line, it might just be a bit too repetitive. Allow the percussion to settle into ostenato, but vary up the low brass and strings.Now, this piece definitely does arouse the feeling of tension (on the edge of your seat suspense), which is what I think you were going for. Just remember the balance of a true orchestra--you seem to rely heavily of woodwind dramatics. Now while that is fine in a quieter piece, in a brass-heavy adventure piece (which most advanture works are), the woodwinds are better utilized to accent with flourishes and the like, allowing the brass in all their loudness the dramatics.As for chordal structure, the piece is obviously modal and has a simple harmonic structure. You might try building some of the chords in fourths to create a more colorful tone.If you have any specific questions, let me know. Overall, I still like the piece. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FossMan 1 Posted July 31, 2003 Share Posted July 31, 2003 Ok, here's an honest opinion: You suck. You will never, ever, ever in a million years be as good as John Williams. Don't waste your life on trying to be. You don't have it. Find another job. Ocelot (Wael Binali), on the other hand, is very good (as am I), he has skills, and heart. Compare yourself to him, to get some perspective on yourself...AI, get a life. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Saxman717 22 Posted August 1, 2003 Author Share Posted August 1, 2003 Thanks for the feedback! Yes, if there is one thing I really have to learn, it is how to add low brass seamlessly into the mix. The brass section is the sketchiest section to me right now.The main (and potentially only) example of counterpoint in the piece comes between 16 and 22 seconds, on the 2nd theme statement that he trumpets makes. Underneath the trumpets, listen to the clarinet part. It's playing it's own thing.....maybe I should boost the dynamics a little.Anyone else listen to it? Can you let me know what you like/dislike, what you'd suggest I improve on etc? Thanks! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ted 0 Posted August 1, 2003 Share Posted August 1, 2003 Cornell! I'm heading there as a freshman in just a couple of weeks! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Saxman717 22 Posted August 1, 2003 Author Share Posted August 1, 2003 Yeah Cornell! beerchug If you are an engineer, this is what will happen to youracademic confidence (after the 1st math prelim) ----------> I am a senior ECE major, what u studying? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ted 0 Posted August 1, 2003 Share Posted August 1, 2003 Haha I'm an engineer as well! Haven't picked a major yet...too many to choose from. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MSM 126 Posted August 1, 2003 Share Posted August 1, 2003 Realize that a piece doesn't need to have everything in it, certainly not if it is quite short. Just leave the piece as it is, it is nice the way it is. I suggest you write another piece maybe a sort of 'part two' in which you can give more attention to the brass and the harmonic development. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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