CONCERT: Home Alone (London, December 2023)

[bollemanneke 3,349]

Mum? Uncle Frank? Where are you guys? Is this a joke? Did I just see Home Alone at the Royal Albert Hall? Was it approved by the American Dental Association? Yes, I did, and no, it probably wasn’t. But boy, was it worth it.

 

First things first, though. I love travelling on the Tube and listening to the announcements (“Change here for the Northern line. Please stand clear of the closing doors.”) Could do it all day. Sadly, they had switched them off on the way to the venue, but that didn’t matter in the slightest because I had the great pleasure of sitting beside a woman who had the most gorgeous Cockney accent I have ever heard. And d’yeh know wha’? She even offered me a seat.

 

We were still finding our seats by the time that the ‘the performance will start in five minutes’ announcement was ringing through the hall, but the smell of popcorn and the tuba rehearsing Kevin’s theme was all I needed to start relaxing. I felt like I was in for a great night at the cinema. No further announcements were made.

 

I forgot which orchestra was playing, but I do know Ben Palmer was conducting, which was an added bonus after his episode on Maurizio’s podcast turned out to be so compelling.

 

The sound came entirely from my left side, which was a huge advantage because that meant I could take off that wretched hearing aid. For those who don’t know, you can’t just wear it without hearing the damn thing all the time. Expecting it to react normally to sound is apparently impossible. Everything needs to be overly detailed and exhausting to listen to.

 

Strangely, the first notes of the score after the Fox fanfare were played on piano instead of celeste, so it was obviously a synthesizer doing the work, which is probably the case on the recording as well. The celeste did come in later, which was a huge relief because I was briefly afraid that we would have to listen to all that magical music on piano. It was also playing at the wrong octave again, which I really don’t understand. Why can’t these people just listen to the recordings and write down the percussion notes correctly? And the even stranger thing was that sometimes the problem was resolved in the middle of a cue and then came back in that very same cue. Really weird. Examples of the octave issue are the moment when Kevin realises his family has ‘disappeared’, or the beginning of Walking Home. Both were played too high.

 

The very first cue of the score also seemed to be missing… something. I can’t describe exactly what it was, but it was most likely percussion, probably sleigh bells and/or tambourines.

 

Having said that, the overall performance was mostly flawless and the balance between film sound and orchestra was really great. Most of the time you couldn’t have guessed that the orchestra was playing completely independently of the movie, except, of course, if you were blessed with finely tuned antennae and when they drowned out the film sound (love when that happens). The hall’s echo was only distracting for a little while at the very beginning of the movie and once you hear things like We Slept In, Sledding on the Stairs, Follow That Kid, Setting the Trap and any Somewhere in My Memory statements live, you just… It’s impossible to describe what that felt like. It always makes me wish that they played these things in regular concerts all the time without the distraction of the film. How wonderful for the writer’s bruised vanity that would be.

 

A few notes about the film itself, just because they really struck me this evening. Catherine O’Hara is such a wonderful presence, as is the polka king of the Midwest, but the woman at the drugstore really isn’t that great. And speaking of that scene, there wasn’t any glockenspiel during the Somewhere in My Memory variation as Kevin makes his escape, which was kind of disappointing. Or there might have been, but the notes were too high to hear.

 

Now, a word about the music written for the break. I wasn’t sure whether I was going to like it and even now I don’t really know how I feel about it. One part of me just really wanted to hear Listening to Carson as recorded, but another really appreciated the grand extension it received. Having said that, the opening of the second half really didn’t need to be there at all. It’s basically just a repetition of the main titles, with a few lovely notes added here and there, but it’s rather jarring because it segues right into I’m Dreaming of a White Christmas, a song performed in a completely unrelated key. One could also argue we didn’t need a break at all, but then, I always like to stretch my legs and take a breath on these occasions.

 

And the choir needs mentioning as well, of course. It wasn’t a children’s choir, thank God, but an adult one with males and females. Again, there are no words to describe the moment they came in during Walking Home, regardless of the fact that the film only has children singing. You just… You believe. Isn’t that a timely reference now? What really surprised me was that they also didn’t drown out old man Marley, which, depending on your tolerance for lip-smacking, is either a blessing or a nightmare. My goodness, that guy has issues, though it’s a really lovely and well-written scene. What also surprised me was that Star of Bethlehem had only one vocal part, so you just heard all the sopranos singing the same notes. But again, I just can’t be critical of such things because the sheer sound and the realisation that I was actually listening to that cue in concert was mind-blowing, even though the organ sound wasn’t the same. In a way, it was even more beautiful, really. Oh, and speaking of the organ, it played the album version’s accompaniment, so none of the beautiful bells and whistles that Mike unearthed for the film version. And Carol of the Bells contains a slight difference: they don’t sing the final high notes, so the moment the orchestra starts playing Setting the Trap, the choir stops, which I don’t really approve of as that mix is so special. And Setting the Trap came with yet another surprise: soft timpani over the violin’s D minor fugue and the final note was held as long as it is in the recording, which didn’t really work as it briefly made Pesci hard to hear. I also can’t recall whether they retained that magnificent church bell at the beginning of the cue. I want to say they didn’t, but don’t quote me on that.

 

And then, the final confrontation with the burglars was upon us. There was a slight clarinet flub during the first stages of the attack (might have been the only flub, come to think of it), but it was so wonderful to sit in the hall with all these people laughing as Harry cursed, shouted and howled. I feel more sorry for him with every viewing. And then, of course, Clothesline Trapeze filled the hall in its full glory. The fact that it was all coming from one side didn’t matter in the slightest. Christmas had arrived. Also, the orchestra didn’t play quietly during “that’s my gold tooth!”, which was kind of nice. And as the sequence ended, the sopranos joined in for Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas with some oohs and aahs! I think the orchestra even accompanied that song as well, which begs the question why they couldn’t also play the marvellous carols Kate gets to hear at the airport. Those would have been such a treat and presumably not hard to mix with the dialogue at all.

 

For the end credits, We Wish You a Merry Christmas was sung as well (and completely obliterated by applause, obviously). Then we went mostly quiet for the rest of the suite, though some rascals still had the nerve to start moving already.

 

MERRY CHRISTMAS! MERRY CHRISTMAS! Ah, how I love that gem. Such an uplifting carol. I do want to say again that I still don’t understand why JW had to change the opening. The alternate opening on the Deluxe Edition is so fantastic. Just leave it alone, nobody needs that brass fanfare when you can have violin and flute thrills. Anyway… The orchestral writing simply boggles the mind. I heard flutes and piccolos doing the most complex and crazy things, things that I never realised were there, or maybe that piccolo really isn’t there at all and was just a flute playing at the wrong octave, but never mind, what a piece! Someone really has to mock it up so I can study it. The strings were mostly inaudible because of the wonderful trombones, but oh my, did I have a blast.

 

There you go. If you have any questions, I’m taking a bath with the pocket translator. Now I’m gonna give you to the count of ten to get your ugly, yellow, no-good browser off my thread before I pump your guts full of lead, or I’m gonna call the c… FROM A TREE HOUSE?!