Celebrity DeathMatch II, the sequel, Jerry vs John.

[JoeinAR 1,949]

"Welcome everyone to Celebrity Deathmatch, I'm Johnny Gomez."

"And I'm Nick Diamond, tonight we have film composer Jerry Goldsmith taking on film composer John Williams, fresh off his victory of James Horner. What kind of match should be expect Johnny?"

"Well Nick, Jerry has been undergoing a series of chemo treatments for cancer, so I would guess Williams should have the upper hand, and should have an easy time. Let's go down to the ring with our Referee, Judge Mills Lane."

"Gentleman, I am a big fan of both of you, you're both looking dapper tonight. Please take off your top coats and hang them on the coat rack in the unused corner of the ring." Both John and Jerry do so. "Alright guys, you know the rules, I just want a clean fight. Please take your places at your respective podiums. LETS GET IT ON!"

"Jerry, I don't wnat to hurt you, why don't you step down right now. There's no shame in that, considering your weakened condition."

"John, why would I want to do that?"

"Because otherwise Jerry, I will crush you like some 2nd rate composer. You and I may be friends, but not in the ring, plus in our other head to head matchups you have NEVER beaten me."

"Well John, there is a first time for everything." Jerry begins to play Hollow Man, and disappears.

"Jerry, where are you, Where did you go? John spins around looking for Jerry. Suddenly the music changes to Basic Instinct. "I'm right here John, say Jerry as he plunges the ice pick in John's back. Splattered with blood, Jerry watches with glee, as John falls to his knees. John spits blood, but smiles. The grail theme plays, as John takes the cup of life and drinks from it healing liquids. "Do you really think it would be this easy Jerry?" John strikes up Ludlow's demise. Jerry grins and begins to play Carol Ann's theme from Poltergeist. "Ghost will not protect you from these dinosaurs Jerry." "I know, he replies. Then a little girls voice announces They're Here. John looks puzzled, whose here. The t-rex's and a pack of velociraptor converge on Goldsmith, who looks unconcerned as the music changes again. Then dozens upon dozens of gremlins appear out of nowhere and begin ripping the dino's to shreds.

Jerry begins to play Ave Santini. John is terrified when he hears this, Jerry's only Oscar winning score. He looks about, watching for something to happen, a pane of glass or a falling lightning rod. He looks up in time to see the rod falling from the ceiling. With a flick and a swish of his baton, Harry Potter begins to play, as John recites, wengardium leveosa, and the lightling rod stops in mid air, mere inches from impaling John to the ground.

Frustrated that he hasn't beaten John yet, Jerry lashes out. "I am going to beat you this time John."

"You can't beat me Jerry, it just won't happen, besides look on the brightside, you still have your ponytail."

"WHAT, my ponytail, are you jealous of my ponytail. Could it be that the greatest living composer, John Williams, has a balding complex.

Shut up Jerry, Shut up, or I'll shut you up. John begins to play Stepmom. Jerry can feel the cancer causeing music to eat at him. He becomes dizzy and begins puking. 8O He collapses.

John takes out a pair of scissors and cuts off Jerry's ponytail. He throws it into the audience, where Dan Hobgood, out jumps everyone for the prize, including, Holland's own Stefan Cosman.

"Your source of power is gone you old diseased maniac."

"Really, Jerry says as he stands tall. He pulls the wig he had been wearing off. He is totally bald underneath. He looks at John and says, It didn't occur to you that this old... diseased... maniac would be your banker. With a snap of his fingers three fellow composers step into the ring. "Hey, Jerry thats not fair."John wines. "Sorry John, don't be stupid, alls fair in love and war. The first composer, Vangelis, begins to play Chariots of Fire. At first it is quite, but then the music gets louder, and louder. Blood begins to pour out of John's ears and eyes. In the audience peoples heads begin to explode. Then the music changes as composer Michael Gore takes center stage. He begins to dance and twirl as he sings"FAME, your not going to live forever, your gonna learn how to die." At that moment he unleashes a series of brutal jabs upon John. John falls.

The announcer Nick Diamond interjects at this moment, "Johnny, it's looking bleak for Mr. Williams." "I agree, Nick, I think he's done for, but... wait whats that playing, isn't that...could it be, yes its E.T's theme. E.T. climbs into the ring with the help of some 21st century CGI effects, and walks over to John Williams. Michael Gore stops, completely in awe of E.T's appearance. E.T. looks at John and says ouch. He touches John with a lighted index finger and says ouch. John is instantly healed.

John energetically stands, as the Superman theme plays. John rips his turtleneck apart to reveal the Superman S underneath. John grabs Michael Gore and tosses him into Vangelis, knocking both out of the ring. John turns to Goldsmith to finish him off, when Jerry's third helping composer, Georgio Moroder, knocks John on his back and begins chewing at John's mouth. With his teeth, Mororder rips out John's tongue and spits it into the crowd. Unfortuanelty for Ren, the tongue lands in her lap. She disolves into sheer hysterics.

Then Georgio lifts John to his feet and pushes him into the coatrack. One of the coat hooks plunges into John's brain. As the life drains out of him John slumps to the floor. Jerry raises a fist in victory, the Hoosier's theme playing in the background. The audience begins to chant, Rudy, Rudy, Rudy.

Referee Mills, yells, "And the Winner is Jerry Goldsmith, Michael Gore, Georgio Moroder, and Vangelis."

Right after the match an estatic Dan Hobgood jumps into the ring, screaming and hollering in joy. He goes over to John's body and begins to kick it. Over and over he stomps John's lifeless body all the while splattering himself with gore. He never saw the last remaining Raptor, one of the few that survived the gremlins. It ambushed Dan from behind, it's claws eviscarating Hobgood in seconds. He lived long enough to know the horror of being eaten alive.

After it was all said and done, Stefan pried the ponytail from Dan's cold dead fingers. For Stefan, life was good.

[Justin 2]

JOHNNY LOST???? :wow:

8O

You son of a'.....

Er... wait this was just a story.... :lookaround:

Justin -

[Harry Potter 0]

Another very good effort, except I didn't like Mr. Williams being killed.

~Harry

[Hlao-roo 389]

Mr. Hobgood dies a martyr...

[Gamecube 0]

Great story. it would have been cooler if they had a jedi come and

slice Goldsmith in half at the end though 8O

[JoeinAR 1,949]

Mr. Hobgood dies a martyr...

actually I thought it was a fitting death, for someone who is nothing more than a piece of meat. 8O

[David Vincent 8]

As Johnny won the first part but lost the second one, I guess he will have his revenge on a third part :alien:

[Justin 2]

So is he going to battle George Lucas next?

Justin -Who likes that idea the more he thinks about it. 8O

[David Vincent 8]

John Williams versus George Lucas would make an excellent deathmatch 8O

[Morn 8]

BLASPHEMY!!! 8O

[Rogue_Leader 2]

That story made me mad! :mad:

There is no way John would ever lose such a match. He would clobber the competition. All he'd need to do is kick in the Superman theme. Tear off his signature "black" attire and reveal the BIG ASS "S" and start whoopin!

[#SnowyVernalSpringsEternal 10,265]

With Dan Hobgood dead, do I get the ponytail?

Stefancos- who cheered for Jerry.

[JoeinAR 1,949]

Sequels from original, or near original mediums are always obligatory. They exist for demand, not because they are original. As a rule most 1st sequels are darker, and more violent than their original. "WE MUST GIVE THEM MORE OF WHAT MADE THE FIRST ONE WORK". Story bedamned. I tried to make the story have bite, and the only way I could do it was to kill John.

Bet you didn't see the ending to this one coming.

But as William pointed out all John had to do was do the Superman thing, but notice who actually killed John, not Jerry, but Giorgio Moroder whose Midnight Express score beat Superman for the Oscar. How many of you can hum a bar from Midnight Express, not many. Indeed I doubt more than a handfull of people on this MB have even seen this powerful, and terrific film. Even the music is great, but not Superman great.

And yes I always planned this as a trilogy, I really did. :roll: But it won't be John Williams vs George Lucas, cause John is dead. The third sequel should reinvent itself, be more original than the original. Hows that for an oxymoron.

[Rogue_Leader 2]

John Williams is immortal people!!

He is like the damn Highlander!!!

He cannot be destroyed!

This story be heresy! Heresy I tell thee!

The John Williams Inquisition will make Joe pay dearly for this! :twisted:

-Rogue Leader who will punish all who deny the supreme prowess of John Towner Williams!

[#SnowyVernalSpringsEternal 10,265]

Thanks you Joe.

Stefancos- introducing his new sig.

[Luke Skywalker 1,796]

Anyways George Lucas Will win. True. Embrace it. He could Bribe everyone in the show, in cluding Williams .

[Trumpeteer 302]

What can I say about the sequel? A very sad ending. I'm sure Han and Leia's theme played as the mourners gathered over John's body. There's hope yet for the finale.

I liked the appearances of Vangelis, Moroder and Gore. But I think the best part was hearing Goldsmith's Ave Satani and the Harry Potter music that defeated it.

I'm wating anxiously for the finale. Don't make us wait three years Joe!

Jeff -- who was coincidentally listening to the Omen while reading this

[Morn 8]

You could have at least had Williams arrested or something....

[Gamecube 0]

You could have at least had Williams arrested or something....

What? :?

[Morn 8]

The 3rd one could then be called Return of the Williams

[Ollie 1,059]

George Lucas can't be in a Celebrity Death Match cause he was already killed in the match between Samuel L. Jackson and Harrison Ford. He got caught in a trash compactor and you can imagine what his fate was.

[Gamecube 0]

Interesting matchups. Star Wars vs. Star Trek would be really cool too.

[Morn 8]

Only if Star Trek wins

[Guest]

I don't think that John Williams would allow himself to be beaten. And I'm pretty sure that we'll never hear him trash talk anyone either.

[Big John 3]

One of the coat hooks plunges into John's brain. As the life drains out of him John slumps to the floor.

What does it mean that "Hook" was the death of our beloved Johnny Williams?

JoeInAr vs. John Takis !!!

Johnny Williams vs. John Williams !!!

BigJohn

[Morn 8]

JoeInAr vs Jerry Goldsmith

Die Joe die... Williams killer

[Justin 2]

Only if Star Trek wins

B'ah! One word for you Morn ol' buddy.

Death Star.

Justin -Who rest his case.

P.S. Yeah yeah Death Star is 2 words yadda yadda! :mad:

[JoeinAR 1,949]

One of the coat hooks plunges into John's brain. As the life drains out of him John slumps to the floor.

What does it mean that "Hook" was the death of our beloved Johnny Williams?

BigJohn

Perhaps that is a freudian slip on some deep subconscience level given my disdain for HOOK, but the truth is that in the movie Midnight Express, the main character is about to be raped again by the evil head turkish guard. But this time he fights back and pushes the guard against the wall were a coat hook plunges into the back of his head. I just used this as a device to kill off the maestro. It was an effective and brutally violent end to the sequel.

And Justin, the Death Star is nothing compared to the Borg, and the Sovereign Class Enterprise would cut it to pieces. A few quantum torpedos, or some of those phased torpedos Voyager used in the last episode would be more than a match for the death star.

[Morn 8]

And Justin, the Death Star is nothing compared to the Borg, and the Sovereign Class Enterprise would cut it to pieces. A few quantum torpedos, or some of those phased torpedos Voyager used in the last episode would be more than a match for the death star.

??? That superlasers should be good against the borg And quantum torps only if they find the ventilation hole

[JoeinAR 1,949]

They don't need to find the ventilation holes Morn, they could just blast their way through. Its not like the death star had shield of its own. If it were orbiting a planet the first thing the Enterprise would do is knock out the shield generator, then it would target the emitters on the death star and take out its super laser. The the Enterprise could just blast away, unfettered by those puny tie fighter which could never blast throught the Enterprises shields. Or even better just beam a torpedo into the central core. It would be over in seconds.

[Morn 8]

What about all those turbolasers though? Which are infact very high powered and are really plasma guns of the type the romulans had in TOS, they are not lasers. And there are many. And how will the enterprise just blast it's way through? The only chance they have is to get a torp in the ventilation holes, I doubt it will be that easy to bring down the death star's shields which would probably stop transports.

[Justin 2]

And Justin, the Death Star is nothing compared to the Borg, and the Sovereign Class Enterprise would cut it to pieces.  A few quantum torpedos, or some of those phased torpedos Voyager used in the last episode would be more than a match for the death star.

Bah! Can those quantum torpedos destroy an entire planet?

Also one other thing. Jedi. These guy could cut down Federation officers like field mice! Heck just unleash Yoda on them.

Justin -Still a Trekkie anyway.....

[Morn 8]

Fire a torp at where the jedi are

[JoeinAR 1,949]

Those phased torpedoes can easily destroy anything the Empire has. The death stars shields could not handle them, they wouldn't need to hit the core. It would be over quickly.

The Empire is no match for the Federation. And no single ship is a match for the Enterprise.

[Morn 8]

Total bullshit you'd need hundreds of torps to distroy the death star even if you got through it's shields. It's really big.

And why is no ship a match for the enterprise?

[JoeinAR 1,949]

Morn you have obviously not seen the last episode of Voyager where they introduce the phased torpedo, it is unlike anything used before. It easily penetrated and destroyed the Borg, it will easily and penetrate the Death Star, which is a much lower form of technology. A few would be all that is needed. Plus the Enterprise with the new shielding that Voyager used would not be in danger from any Imperial vessel.

[Guest]

If the Enterprise could be beaten, than there wouldn't be any original Star Trek or TNG series.

[Morn 8]

Ohh, I have, just not recently. But... how effective will it be against something with a diameter of 160km? And the borg might be a higher form of technology... but the death star has a lot of energy. Ie, which is worse, being hit by a 120cm shell or a 50m wide piece of stone?

[JoeinAR 1,949]

I should have mentioned someone catching John's tongue, jeez, who couldn't have caught it? I will go back and fix it.

Joe, who has just stolen a scene from Victor/Victoria. Sorry Ren!

[JoeinAR 1,949]

for Ray.

[JoeinAR 1,949]

again, the drought needs a drop of rain.

[Hector J. Guzman 1]

We shall call you Rain Man, then

[Hector J. Guzman 1]

Williams couldn't use the E.T. rifles because Spielberg changed them to walkie talkies

Violin Concerto (Mendelssohn)

[Morlock 11]

LOL I still think one of the best Southpark episodes ever is the Raiders one (free hat).

"...Saving Private Ryan, re-re-rerlease, where the word 'Nazi' has been replaced with 'person with political differences' and all the guns have been replaced by walkie talkies"

[Rogue_Leader 2]

There was already a John vs. Jerry thread on this board a while back. Jerry won in that one as well.

Can Williams never emerge triumphant?

[Hector J. Guzman 1]

I wonder if it was on the Ikon messageboard. But you can not access it for now, sadly.

[Rogue_Leader 2]

It was a while ago so that thread may have been on the old board. Not sure.

[JoeinAR 1,949]

Its the same one William, I just brought it back for nostalic reasons

[Hector J. Guzman 1]

Oh, okay.

[Rogue_Leader 2]

Its the same one William, I just brought it back for nostalic reasons

Oh yeah ..... foolish me! I never bothered to look at the date. I knew it seemed VERY familar.

DOH! :oops: