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Harry, Heroin, and Hoaxes.


JoeinAR

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About 90 % of the witty stuff I post comes from other people.

Mostly uncredited.

Stefancos- the MB's James Horner.

I'm sure you do it on purpose and improve on it. :)

I'm glad this thread got back to something I can understand. I only speak 2 languages: English and Texan.

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Texan is not a language, it's not even a decent dialect.

I was joking! ;)

But I lived in New Hampshire for 10 years, and let me tell you it's almost like speaking a different language.

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Seeing as everyone else is nagging everyone about their relevant language (I of course speak the Queen's English and not Beatrix's, Stefan. Though she does speak sweet nothings in my ear..ppppurrrr).

Of course, I have been on the receiving end of a few elaborate hoaxes during my 105 year reign of terror on this God-awful dump of a planet. My Top 10 are as follows: (Took myself and Catherine 43 hours to ravage the archives at Universal Press).

Top 10 (from 10 to 1)...

10. "HITCH GETS DITCHED BY TIPPI AT THE ALTAR" (She runs off and marries a donkey).

09. "STAFF FIRED AS HITCH GOES ON THE RAMPAGE" (This was funny as it actually did happen when the marketing department on North By Northwest sent out compasses with press kits in case they didn't understand the movie's title...the heathens....didn't they see Star Trek 6?)

08. "HITCH FALLS ON WARNER LOT" (takes 12 hours before the medics arrive...bloody Warner Bros. left me to sweat it out)

07. "YOU CAN CALL ME AL" (Paul Simon in talks with legendary director about new Simon song).

06. "HITCHCOCK MOVIE HAILED A CLASSIC" (only for AFI to realise that Citizen Kane was not Hitchcock)

05. "WE TRIED TO BEAM HITCH UP" (Cover of National Enquirer which stated that aliens tried to abduct me and use my brain for "Universal" domination)

04. "BEATRIX BANS TOPAZ IN HOLLAND" (unfortunately it wasn't the movie)

03. "THE BIRDS" IS COMING! (Someone should fire the Univeral Press editor for grammar)

02. "HITCHCOCK SEEN NAKED ON SUNSET BLVD." (Actually, I was only naked from the waist down. Divine Brown didn't mind at the time).

01. "HITCH'S FALL FROM GRACE" (Kelly, that is!)

Hitch, who hasn't done one of these in a hell of a long time.

94 days to August 22nd.

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;)

Nice to see Steef laughing at my jokes again. Nice to see you in action one more time, Steef. Take care, dear Bilbo.

Hitch, who gets these new movies mixed up. :PROTFLMAO

P.S. Another newspaper heading going back to 1987.

"CHIN OP GOES WRONG FOR HITCH". After 50 years of waging his war on terror, it was time for 10 time Academy Award winning producer and director Sir Alfred Hitchcock to leave terror in the cinema but to bring it straight into his plastic surgeon's office.

In a scene reminiscent of 8 time Academy Award winning Dutch director Paul Verhoeven's movie SPETTERS, Hitchcock decided to undergo the knife and get 12 of his 45 chins removed as executives at Universal were concerned he was bringing in food tucked between chins 39 to 43...illegally from his wife Alma's kitchen. For those who are regular readers of this column, Mrs Hitchcock was banned from bringing food onto the Universal lot when 1,000 of the studio's employee became violently sick due to eating Mrs Hitchcock's homemade mince pies. As much as we hate to say Mrs Hitch, you're one 'ell of a bad cook.

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This is actually fascinating

Please refrain from quoting Ambassador Spock unless you have mind-melded with him lately.

Hitch LOL LOL

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Wrong.  

Dutch a is language, there is no such thing as a distinct Texan laguage, or even dialect.  

Just an accent.

Steef, you are talking about things you don't know anything about.

Texas, its like a whole 'nother country.

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Steef, you are talking about things you don't know anything about.

Texas, its like a whole 'nother country.

Then your president is a damn foreigner!

I never argued that.

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About 90 % of the witty stuff I post comes from other people.

Mostly uncredited.

Stefancos- the MB's James Horner.

I'm still waiting for those royalty checks to clear.

Hitch, who ghost-writes a lot of Steef's comments as his mind has been erased by u-know-who! :););)

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What's Morn got to do with it?

What's Morn, but a second hand emotion?

Neil

:) LOL ;)

Reminds me I could dust off some of her records and put them back on my playlist. Shame she quit in the biz already, by-the-way.

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Different accent - le Beaucerons(Beauce, region du Quebec) est tres different du francais francais, et la plupart du temps personne ici ne me comprends - Je dois emprunter un accent plus doux, ce qui n'est pas toujours facile :)

Off topic - how come I am shown offline?

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Steef, you are talking about things you don't know anything about.

Texas, its like a whole 'nother country.

Then your president is a damn foreigner!

Acctually I believe the president was born in Maine, raised in Texas.

Justin

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Steef, you are talking about things you don't know anything about.

Texas, its like a whole 'nother country.

Then your president is a damn foreigner!

Acctually I believe the president was born in Maine, raised in Texas.

Justin

Conneticut actually. :)

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