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Your Favourite Movie Quotes


JTN

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“See you at the party, Richter!”

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What are you, blind?! It's a cock! It's not a rocket, you sick fuck, it's a COCK! Look. It's a cock and balls! A dick! Chorizo and the Huevos! It's a big stiffy!

Yeah! It's a PENIS! Penis Maximus! A willy! A weenie! Mr. Jiggledaddy! A wang! The One-Eyed Wonder Weasel! Don't you see that? It's Jimmy and the Twins. Rumpleforeskin. He made it! It's made from dildough!

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Pilot: Dick!
Dick: Yeah?
Pilot: Take a look outta starboard.
Dick: Oh my God! It looks like a huge—
Birdwatching Woman: Pecker!
Birdwatching Man: Ooh, where?
Birdwatching Woman: Wait, that's not a woodpecker, that looks like someone's—
Army Sergeant: PRIVATES! WE HAVE REPORTS OF AN UNIDENTIFIED FLYING OBJECT. IT IS A LONG, SMOOTH SHAFT, COMPLETE WITH—
Baseball Umpire: TWO BALLS! [looking up from game] What is that? That looks just like an enormous—
Teacher in China: Wang! Pay attention!
Wang: I was distracted by that enormous flying—
Musician: Willie!
Willie Nelson: Yeah?
Musician: What's that?
Willie: [squints] Well, that looks like a giant—
Colonel: Johnson!
Johnson: Yes, sir?
Colonel: Get on the horn to British Intelligence and let them know about this.

 

A little bit later:


Basil: Did we get Dr. Evil?
Johnson: No, sir, he got away in that big spaceship that looks like a huge—
Teacher: Penis! The male reproductive organ. Also known as "tallywhacker", "schlong", or—
Barbecuing Dad: Wiener? Any of you kids want another wiener?
Son: Dad, what's that?
Dad: I don't know, son, but it's got great, big—
Peanut Vendor at Baseball Game: NUTS! HOT, SALTY NUTS! WHO WANTS SOME? ...Lord Almighty!
Woman: That looks just like my husband's—
Circus Barker: ONE-EYED MONSTER! STEP RIGHT UP AND SEE THE ONE-EYED MONSTER!
One-Eyed Monster: [bursts out of tent] RAAAR! ...Hey, what's that? It looks like a big—
Fan: Woody! Woody Harrelson? Can I have your autograph?
Woody: Sure, no problem. ...Oh, my Lord! Look at that thing!
Fan: It's so big...
Woody: I've seen bigger. That's—
Dr. Evil: [holding a syringe] Just a little prick! [injects Mini-Me] It's a flu shot! You've been in the coldness of space. I don't want you to get sick.

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“We don't read and write poetry because it's cute. We read and write poetry because we are members of the human race. And the human race is filled with passion. And medicine, law, business, engineering, these are noble pursuits and necessary to sustain life. But poetry, beauty, romance, love, these are what we stay alive for. To quote from Whitman, "O me! O life!... of the questions of these recurring; of the endless trains of the faithless... of cities filled with the foolish; what good amid these, O me, O life?" Answer. That you are here - that life exists, and identity; that the powerful play goes on and you may contribute a verse. That the powerful play *goes on* and you may contribute a verse. What will your verse be?”

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"You take a big risk by encouraging them to be artists, John. When they realize they're not Rembrandts, Shakespeares or Mozarts, they'll hate you for it." 


"We're not talking artists, George, we're talking freethinkers." 


"Freethinkers at seventeen?" 


"Funny — I never pegged you as a cynic." 


"Not a cynic, a realist. "Show me the heart unfettered by foolish dreams, and I'll show you a happy man.""


"But only in their dreams can men be truly free. 'Twas always thus, and always thus will be."


"Tennyson?" 


"No, Keating." 

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Seeing as this thread turned mostly to laugh lines, possibly the funniest comic relief ever in a movie:

 

Quote

The Lord tells me he get me out of this mess. But he's pretty sure...you're fucked."

 

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“What we do in life... echoes in eternity.“

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“Miss Teschmacher, some people can read "War and Peace" and come away thinking it's a simple adventure story. Others can read the ingredients on a chewing gum wrapper and unlock the secrets of the universe.“

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“Tower, this is Ghost Rider requesting a flyby.”

“Negative, Ghost Rider, the pattern is full.”

 

IMG_0148.gif

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“During this fight, I've seen a lot of changing, in the way you feel about me, and in the way I feel about you. In here, there were two guys killing each other, but I guess that's better than twenty million. I guess what I'm trying to say, is that if I can change, and you can change, everybody can change!“

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“Sometimes you gotta say "What the Fuck", make your move.“

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